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[文化][健身健美][英中对照]健美大神之路 14 补剂骗局

一线实稿 樊明璨 来源:樊明璨博客 247浏览 0评论

健美大神之路(A Bodybuilder Is Born)

作者:罗恩·哈利斯(Ron Harris)

译者:樊明璨

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Episode 14 – Supplements Are Not Magic!
第14篇 补剂骗局

“Look at this one!” Randy was going through the phase where he was wowed by the marketing techniques used in supplement ads. These are designed to downplay the importance of hard training and eating frequent nutritious meals – which can’t possibly have much of an impact in your results compared to the latest wonder product.
“瞧这个!”兰迪正处在对补剂广告所用的营销技巧无免疫力的阶段。这些广告旨在贬低努力训练和少食多餐的重要性,强调二者对训练结果的影响远不及他们的神奇新产品。

“See? This one turns into Dianabol when you take it.” He pointed to the product, called something very similar like D-ball 2500, which appeared right next to a bottle of actual Dianabol tablets. The ad had several of these sound-a-like products paired with their real steroid counterparts to really entice those afraid to use illegal drugs but who would buy them in heartbeat if they were legal.
“瞧,这东西吃下去会变成大力补(Dianabol)。”他指着一个产品,名字跟D-ball 2500非常相似,旁边展示的是一瓶真正的大力补片。这个广告里出现了好几种名称相似的产品,均一一给出了对应的真正的类固醇产品,引诱那些怕用违禁药品但愿意买所谓合法产品的手快买家。

“This one is test, that one is Equipoise, this one is GH…” Randy was getting so excited I thought he was going to have an orgasm, and I didn’t want to be around for that. It was time to nip this chicanery in the bud before Junior’s mind got warped any further.
“这个是睾丸酮,那个是宝丹酮,这个是生长激素……”兰迪兴奋得快要性高潮似的,我可不想在旁边碍事。现在是时候了,在小徒弟的思想被进一步扭曲前,将此骗局扼杀在萌芽状态。

Back To Reality
回归现实

“Get real, Randy,” I said. “Anyone who has ever used steroids would try these things and demand their money back for false advertising. If these stupid things really worked like steroids, the FDA would have been on them like Kobe Bryant on a hot hotel desk clerk.”
“不要幻想了,亲,”我说,“用过类固醇的人尝试这些产品后发现是虚假广告要求退钱。如果这些狗屁产品的功效真跟类固醇一样,那食物及药品管理局(FDA)早就下手了,就像科比·布莱恩特(Kobe Bryant)对酒店的前台美女下手一样。”

“But there’s a legal loophole, they convert in the body to steroids!” I could tell my protégé had fallen for the bullshit hook, line, and sinker. I sighed.
“但这些东西在身体里会转化为类固醇,所以商家有法律空子可钻!”看得出来我的小徒弟已经彻头彻尾地陷进去了,哎。

“More like your money and all the money from the other suckers is going to be converted to a shiny red Ferrari for the crook who sells this junk. Probably the real cool one Demi Moore drives in Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle, that costs 700 grand. Use your head, Randy. If these things really were just like steroids, why would so many people risk getting fake steroids, getting ripped off, and getting arrested to still buy steroids?” That one had my boy stumped. He flipped through a few more pages.
“你的钱和其他笨蛋的钱最终都会变成假药贩子手中闪亮的红色法拉利,很可能就是黛咪·摩尔(Demi Moore)在《霹雳娇娃2》中所开的那辆价值70万美元的超酷的法拉利。动动脑子,亲,如果这些东西真跟类固醇相似,为何还有那么多人铤而走险搞假类固醇,冒被敲竹杠甚至被逮捕的险也仍然要买类固醇?”这句话把兰迪问到了。他草草翻了一下后面几页的内容。

“What about this one? These before and after pictures are pretty amazing.” I glanced, having seen this company’s ads about ten thousand times before.
“那这个呢?这前后对比的图片太震撼了。”我扫了一眼,这公司的广告以前就见过无数次了。

“If the stuff works so great for making you gain muscle and lose fat, riddle me this,” I said. “Why is everyone pale, hairy, slumped, totally relaxed and looking miserable in the before photo, like their girlfriend just left them for the Rock (my wife happens to drool over the Rock)?
“如果这东西减脂增肌的效果这么好,那你说说,”我说,“为什么服用前照片里的人个个都肤色苍白,不修边幅,萎靡不振,肌肉松弛且表情痛苦,仿佛他们的女朋友都离他们而去投入了巨石强森的怀抱(我老婆碰巧也迷巨石强森)?

Then in the after shot they have a tan, the hair is shaved off, they are flexing, and have a big goofy smile like they just had a steamy one-night stand with J-Lo while she was in town without Ben (I do more than drool over J-Lo)? And why does it say at the bottom of every single after photo, so and so’s results not typical? If the stuff is so great how come we can’t expect to get results like any of the guys and girls in the ad?” Randy was silent, he was obviously seeing my point.
而服用后照片里,个个都古铜肤色,收拾得体,肌肉紧实且笑容可掬,好像珍妮弗·洛佩兹正好在城里,而本·阿弗莱克正好没在身边,而你刚跟珍妮弗度过了销魂的一晚似的(我迷死珍妮弗了)?为什么每张服后照片下面都注明如此这般的效果并不具有代表性?如果这东西效果真的很棒,为什么我们不可以期待获得广告里的这些人所获得的效果?”兰迪沉默不语,很明显他明白我想说什么了。

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words
百闻不如一见

“Look,” I told him. “Bodybuilders are so desperate to get an endorsement contract and their pictures in the magazines they will do just about anything it takes. I have actually known guys who would stop training, stop using steroids, and eat a bunch of crap to take a before picture where they looked like absolute dog shit. Then they would train hard and eat well, get back on all the juice, and take the after pictures. You know what they would do with those pictures?”
“你要知道,”我告诉他,“健美运动员都很渴望获得代言机会,都渴望自己的照片能上杂志,为此他们会不惜代价。我就认识一些人,先停止训练,停用类固醇,吃一大堆垃圾食品,然后拍一张大腹便便的服用前照片,之后又刻苦训练,正确饮食,恢复肌肉后又拍若干张轮廓分明的硬汉照片。你猜接下来他们会怎么处理这些照片?”

“They would make many copies, and send them along with a letter to ten or twenty different supplement companies, telling them about the incredible results they experienced with their product – which in most cases they had never even tried – and inquire about the possibility of endorsing it or appearing in their ads. Most of the time they would just take the before pictures when they started their diets for a contest and then shoot the after shot once they were in top condition.”
“他们会复制很多份然后随邮件发给10家或20家不同的补剂公司,告诉他们服用他们产品所产生的神奇效果——在大多数情况下其实他们根本就没有服用过——然后询问是否有可能代言产品或出现在产品广告中。很多时候,他们会在赛前开始减肥时拍摄服用前照片,然后在达到巅峰状态时拍摄服用后照片。”

Randy wasn’t giving up just yet. He had one more ad. “Okay, check this out. You know how a lot of guys today are injecting Synthol into their arms?”
兰迪还是不死心,他又指着一个广告说,“看这个,现在很多人都给手臂注射西斯龙(Synthol),你知道吗?”

“Yes,” I said, ready to spit some sarcasm. “And it usually looks so realistic that none of us suspect their ridiculously out-of-proportion lumpy arms and shoulders are full of coagulated MCT oil.” (And no, John Parrillo does NOT recommend Cap-Tri ever be injected into your body in case any of you had this bright idea!)
“知道,”我说,并已准备好讽刺两句,“看起来太真实了,没人会相信他们比例失调得可笑的手臂和肩膀里面全是凝析中链三酸甘油脂油(coagulated MCT oil)。”(如果你们任何人想往身体里注射Cap-Tri【译者注:中链三酸甘油脂品牌名】,约翰·帕里略不会建议你这样做!)

“This stuff does the same thing, site enhancement, but you just rub it on. Look at the guy’s arm before and after.” I shook my head. Randy wasn’t this stupid. I knew he wasn’t. I put up my arm and relaxed it, just like the guy’s arm was in the first picture.
“这个东西效果一样,专门增强某个部位,只用擦上去就行了。瞧瞧这家伙使用前和使用后的手臂。”我摇摇头。兰迪还不至于这么笨看不出来,这一点我很清楚。我抬起手臂,放松肌肉,就像这家伙使用前照片里的手臂一样。

“Before,” I said slowly. I flexed the arm.
“这是使用前,”我慢悠悠地说,然后鼓紧手臂肌肉。

“After. That’s all he’s doing in the two pictures, except it also looks like he stopped training for a couple months before he took the first picture. Who knows? It might not even be the same person’s arm.”
“这是使用后。两张照片就这么来的,只是他似乎是停练了几个月后才拍的第一张照片,鬼才知道,甚至可能不是同一个人的手臂。”

Randy frowned and started shuffling the pages again.
兰迪眉头紧锁,又开始胡乱翻起杂志来。

“Look,” I thundered, “if you show me an ad for pills to make your Mr. Happy grow, I am going to roll that magazine up and beat you over the head with it like a dog that pees on the rug.” He put the magazine down.
“好了,”我大声说道,“如果你这次翻出一个让JJ增大的药丸广告,我就把杂志卷起来敲你脑袋,就像敲一只在地毯上撒尿的狗一样。”他放下了杂志。

Is It All A Lie?
纯粹骗局?

“I used to fall for these ads too, believe me,” I confessed. “I don’t know how much hard-earned cash I blew on bogus supplements with slick ads, but it had to be a few thousand bucks all told. I wanted to think that some pill or powder was going to suddenly make this huge difference and have me looking like Arnold in no time.”
“我以前也上过这类广告的当,真的,”我坦白道,“不知道在这些有着光鲜广告的假补剂上扔了多少辛苦挣来的钱,加起来肯定有几千美元了。我以前相信有药丸或粉剂能带来奇效,可以让我立刻就变成阿诺德·斯瓦辛格。”

“So none of these things work?” Randy was crestfallen. It was like I had just told him all at once that Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny weren’t real, and that Martha Stewart wasn’t really as nice and sweet as she appeared to be on her TV show.
“这么说这些东西都没用咯?”兰迪有点失落。这就好像我突然告诉他圣诞老人和复活节兔子并不真的存在,玛莎·斯图尔特(Martha Stewart)其实没有电视节目上看起来那么善良亲切一样。

“I am sure a lot of them have some effect, but nothing like what they want you to believe.” This next part was going to sound like a big sales pitch or a testimonial, but it needed to be said.
“很多东西肯定会产生效果,但绝不会是他们想让你相信的那种效果。”下面要说的话听起来像替人打广告或唱赞歌,但还是需要说一下。

“You know what I like about the Parrillo Performance line of supplements?” I asked. Randy shrugged.
“你知道我喜欢帕里略表现公司(Parrillo Performance)补剂广告词哪一点吗?”我问。兰迪耸了耸肩。

“He has been in business over twenty years and not once has come out with an ad hyping up his products with outrageous claims and wild promises. And he is the only man I know who sells supplements that will tell you bluntly that unless you are eating well, not to even bother buying supplements. He carries a limited amount of products that have all stood the test of time, like MCT oil, creatine monohydrate, and whey protein. Years ago I used to suggest to him that he come out with his version of the latest item everyone was excited about, and he always said he wasn’t interested.
“帕里略做补剂生意20余年,没有一个广告用夸张的语言和胡乱的承诺来吹嘘自己的产品。他是唯一一个我知道的会坦率告诉你‘除非你吃得健康,否则还是别费心来买补剂了’的补剂商人。他经营的商品有限,但都经受住了时间的考验,如中链三酸甘油脂油、一水肌酸和乳清蛋白等。几年前,我多次向他建议他应该推出有自家特色的现在大家都热衷的最新产品,但他每次都说没有兴趣。

At the time I thought he was being stubborn and missing out on a lot of potential profits, but now I see most of the things I suggested he come out with have either disappeared from the market because consumers figured out they were ineffective, or they are now about to be banned by the US government. So many companies have come and gone since I started buying supplements in the late 1980’s, but John is still in business and has maintained his integrity. Not everyone will sell their soul for some fast profits.”
当时我觉得他比较固执,错过了发财的机会,但现在看来,那些产品中的大多数要么因为客户发现无效已在市场上销声匿迹,要么就是即将被美国政府禁用。从20世纪80年代晚期我开始购买补剂起,先后涌现了大批公司,也消失了大批公司,而帕里略的公司现在仍在营业,毫发无损。不是每个人为了赚几个快钱都会出卖自己的灵魂。”

“So what, I shouldn’t use supplements?” Randy asked sullenly. “You use a lot of supplements. That time I was at your house your kitchen looked like a Bodybuilding.com franchise.”
“那你意思是什么呢,我不该用补剂?”兰迪不悦地问道,“你自己都用了很多补剂。上次去你家,你的厨房看上去就像一个Bodybuilding.com网站的特约经销店。”

“Of course you should use supplements, but only as a supplement to good eating and hard training. Nobody wants to admit for a minute that maybe the reason they aren’t getting the results they want is simply because they don’t train hard enough or eat right. That would be too painful and they would have to assume some actual responsibility. Instead, they keep on looking for some magic supplement to fill in the gaps and catapult their bodies into what they see in the magazines. Show me a guy who trains his ass off and eats six nutritious meals a day with no supplements, and then show me a guy who trains like a wuss and eats a couple junk food meals a day but uses a lot of supplements. The first guy will have a better physique than the second guy, every single time.”
“你当然该用补剂,但只能在健康饮食和努力训练的基础上用。没人愿意承认失败是因为自己练得不够努力或吃得不健康,那样太痛苦了,而且自己必须要承担实际责任。结果,他们会不停寻找某种神奇补剂来填补差距,以便快速实现他们在杂志上看到的那种效果。一个刻苦训练且一天吃六次营养餐但不吃补剂的人,和一个随便练练、一天吃两三餐垃圾食品但吃很多补剂的人,前一个的身材永远要比后一个要好。”

So What Should You Take?
该吃什么补剂?

“So what supplements are good to buy?”
“那什么补剂值得买呢?”

“The stuff you use now is really all you need. You use protein powders to give you extra protein in your diet, MCT oil to provide energy and extra calories to gain on, protein bars for when you have to miss solid meals out on the run, creatine, liver aminos, the essential vitamin, minerals, advanced lipotropic, and a couple other basic items. That’s all you really need as long as you are busting your ass with the weights and making a dedicated effort to eat several clean, nutritious meals a day as you do now.”
“你现在用的已经完全够了。蛋白粉给你提供了额外的蛋白质,中链三酸甘油脂油(MCT oil)提供了增肌的能量和额外热量,蛋白棒可以弥补忙碌时错过的正餐,此外你还用了肌酸、肝氨基(liver aminos)、必要维生素、矿物质、高级抗脂肪肝剂以及另外几种基本补剂。只要你努力训练并坚持健康饮食、少食多餐,这些真的已经足够了。”

I could see Randy was convinced I was right, which I was on this matter. The amount of deceitful and misleading ads from supplement companies has always been a pet peeve of mine. Randy looked around. We were in the gym, and he lowered his voice so the new front-desk girl, who was either Filipino or Japanese with a deep tan, couldn’t hear him. She looked like she weighed about eighty pounds.
看得出来兰迪相信我说的是对的,我确实是对的。补剂公司的欺骗加误导性广告的数量一直都是让我比较烦的一件事。兰迪看了看周围,我们此时正在健身房里。他压低了说话的声音,这样前台那个女孩才不会听到。女孩儿来自菲律宾或日本,古铜肤色,看起来约有80磅。

“Those pills that make your, you know, grow?”
“那种让你的……那个东西……增大的药丸效果怎么样?”

I thought for a minute. He had been warned explicitly. I calmly reached down and picked up the magazine off the floor next to Randy’s weight belt.
我想了想,之前我明确警告过他的,我悄悄地伸手往下摸,拿起了兰迪举重腰带旁的杂志。

“What are you doing?” he whined. I rolled it up into a hard tube and whacked him just once over his head.
“说话啊。”他抱怨道。我将杂志卷成筒状朝他脑袋上猛敲了一下。

“Bad Randy!” I yelled.
“你个坏东西!”我厉声说道。

He yelped. Some dogs are slow to learn and you have to be firm.
他尖叫起来。当有些狗不太听得进人话时,你就必须下狠手。

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