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[文化][健身健美][英中对照]健美大神之路 15 真正成人

一线实稿 樊明璨 来源:樊明璨博客 288浏览 0评论

健美大神之路(A Bodybuilder Is Born)

作者:罗恩·哈利斯(Ron Harris)

译者:樊明璨

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Episode 15 – Welcome To The Real World!
第15篇 真正成人

Kids these days seem to linger around the house a lot longer before striking out on their own. Not so long ago, young adults just couldn’t wait to escape the rules and privacy intrusions from mom and pop.
如今的孩子自立前在家逗留的时间似乎比以前长多了。曾几何时,年轻人都迫不及待逃离父母的约束和隐私侵犯。

The whole idea was to cut the umbilical cord and begin the transformation into a mature, responsible grown-up who took care of himself. Back then, admitting you still lived at home was like confessing you had never kissed a girl, unless your cousin counted.
他们想的是要独立,要真正长大,变得成熟,有责任感,能照顾自己。过去,承认自己还住在家里就像供认自己从未吻过女孩儿一样,除非你有表弟表妹要照顾。

I’m not sure if it’s because renting a house or apartment these days costs roughly as much as open-heart surgery, but the amount of ’empty nests’ sure has gone down.
我不确定是不是因为现在租个房子或公寓房间跟做心内直视手术一样贵还是什么,但空巢数量确实下降了。

I have known many young people who lived at home long into their twenties and in some cases, even their thirties, and not all of them were regular attendees of Star Trek conventions who had chronic halitosis and visible nose hair. Many of them were just too greedy to leave home.
我认识许多年轻人,20几岁甚至个别30几岁了都还住在家里,他们并非个个都是那种有慢性口臭和明显鼻毛的《星际迷航》粉丝会常客。其中很多人只是太恋家,不想搬出去。

Instead of plunking down eighty percent of their paychecks on food and rent, they could simply throw the parental units some cash here and there and use the rest to lease a flashy sports car and clothes with designer names.
他们不用将薪水的80%砸到吃饭和租房上,可以只给属于父母的房子这里那里补贴一点,然后用剩下的钱租用酷炫跑车和有设计师名字的衣服。

I suppose all these guys must have to come up with some crazy excuses as to why they can’t show their lady friends where they live. This is most definitely Randy’s generation, and he fit the profile exactly – at least until a couple months ago.
我想这些家伙必须得编造些夸张的借口才能搪塞为什么不能让他们的女性朋友参观自己的住处。兰迪他们这一代确实就是这样,而兰迪恰恰是一个典型,至少数月前是。

Randy Finds A Job
兰迪找到一份工作

Randy turned twenty-three back in July, and that’s when his parents decided it was time for his buffed butt to find his own place. After finally looking into how much it costs to rent a one-bedroom apartment in Massachusetts, which for some reason has the highest rental rates of any state in the union (must be our spectacular fall foliage), the young buck realized he needed a higher-paying job.
7月份的时候,兰迪度过了他23岁的生日,他的父母考虑后认为是时候让他搬出去了。在搞清楚麻萨诸塞州单卧室公寓租金价格后(由于某种原因(必须是秋叶景色太美之故),单卧室公寓在任何州的租金都最高),兰迪意识到他需要找一份收入更高的工作。

A friend of his had been doing very well earning commissions as a new car salesman, and had convinced Randy to give it a shot at the same dealership.
他有个朋友做汽车销售混得不错,说服兰迪去他们经销店试试。

Being an outgoing guy and not bad-looking, it actually turned out to be a good fit and he was now making enough dough to support himself in his very first apartment. Great news, right? I thought so too, until Randy started complaining to me during a back workout a few days ago. Until he gets himself a wife, I have to listen to him whine.
事实表明,有着外向性格和不错颜值的他很适合干这份工作。他现在挣的钱足以支撑他租下人生中的第一个公寓。还不错,是吧?我也这样认为,但就在几天前,做背部训练时兰迪开始向我抱怨。看来在他有老婆之前,我都得听他抱怨了。

“This job is killing my gains!” he groused after dropping from the chin-up bar after a set. “I had no idea the hours would be this long. The worst thing is that I am missing meals like crazy.
“这工作严重妨碍我增肌!”做完一组引体向上下来后他向我抱怨道,“我之前不知道工作时间会这么长,最要命的就是我无法按时进餐。

I’ll be with a customer for two or three hours at a time a lot, and there’s no way I can drop everything and have them wait while I sneak off to eat. If I do that, I could lose the sale, and I need those sales right now.”
每次陪客户都要两三个小时,每天要陪很多个,我根本无法抛下工作,让客户等等,然后自己溜去吃东西。如果那样的话生意就可能泡汤,我目前很需要做成生意。”

“Yes, I know you no longer have mommy and daddy’s refrigerator to raid for your growing muscles. Meat ain’t cheap, is it? You may even have to do your own laundry now with all those stinky gym clothes soaked with sweat. Welcome to the real world of being a grown-up, Sparky.”
“嗯,我明白,过去要增肌,你可以翻父母家里的冰箱找东西吃,现在没冰箱了,肉要靠自己买,不便宜,是吧?现在可能还必须自己洗训练后换下来的臭衣服。恭喜你真正长大成人了,朋友。”

“So what? You’re saying I have to just keep missing meals until I look like a skeleton and I can’t even bench press forty pounds anymore?”
“你说这些有什么意义呢?是要我继续错过进餐时机饿成皮包骨头最后连40磅都卧推不起吗?”

“No, all I’m saying is that you have to do what every other bodybuilder who isn’t fortunate enough to work at home has to do – be creative and come up with ways to get access to the nutrients you need.”
“不是,我意思是你要像其他不幸无法在家工作的健美运动员一样,创造性地解决问题。”

Randy jumped up and did his last set of chin-ups. I had weaned him off of using wrist wraps for these, and now his formerly spindly forearms actually had a little meat on them. “I’m listening,” said Randy with a hint of sarcasm after he hit the ground. “Let’s hear what you would do if you were doing my job.”
兰迪跳上去做了最后一组引体向上。我让他渐渐放弃使用腕带做引体向上后,以前纤弱的前臂现在总算有点肉了。跳下来后,他略带讽刺地说“好啊,那你说说,如果你是我你会怎么做。”

I pondered a moment, finding it challenging to envision myself with such a high-pressure occupation as convincing people to blow a year’s salary over the course of a five-year loan on the car I was selling, rather than the car the guy in the dealership across the turnpike was selling.
我换位想了一下,发现情况的确比较棘手,要说服客户通过五年分期付款还本付息的方式总计用一年的收入来买我卖的车而不是收费公路对面经销店里那家伙卖的车,这工作压力的确很大。

Cars are starting to look alike now anyway. Plus, if I had a real job like that which could possibly have my day tied up from eight in the morning until six or eight at night.
现在汽车的外观越来越同质化,而且,我真做这工作的话,可能从早上8点到晚上6点或8点都得被套牢。

I would have to start training either very early or very late like Randy now did. Because of this, we were only training together on Friday, his one day of the week he had off now.
那样的话训练时间就不得不改为很早或很晚,就像兰迪现在这样。因为这个原因,现在我们一起训练的时间只有星期五,他一周唯一休假的一天。

But since a big part of what I do as a bodybuilding writer is finding ways for the average person to make gains no matter what their schedule, I concentrated extra hard until I got a ‘brain blast’ like that big-headed Jimmy Neutron character on Nickelodeon.
但好在我现在的大部分工作是撰写健美文章想办法帮助普通人在各种闲暇时段增肌,我全神贯注特别用心地思考了一会儿,终于,我像点唱机上的大头天才小子吉米一样灵光乍现,找到了解决办法。

“Coffee mugs,” I said. “Coffee mugs?” Jimmy asked as he loaded up the T-Bar Row. “What the hell does that have to do with anything?” “That’s how you’re going to make sure you never miss out on the protein and carbs you need. I know you would come off like a dork walking around with shaker bottles all day, but I bet you can get away with holding a coffee mug.
“咖啡杯。”我说。“咖啡杯?”小徒弟一边给做俯身划船用的T形杠铃上杠铃片,一边问道,“和咖啡杯有什么关系?”“有了咖啡杯,你就绝不会错过吃蛋白质和碳水化合物了。我明白,整天带着几个摇杯到处走会显得你很白痴,但我相信拿个咖啡杯在手里不会有什么问题。

You know, one of those nice stainless steel ones. Keep a little cooler behind your desk with two or three of these. You can have shakes with Optimum Whey, Hi-Protein, or even 50/50 Plus powder or some Pro Carb if you need carbs.
知道吧,就是那种质量很好的不锈钢咖啡杯,在你办公桌后放一个小型冷藏箱和两三个这种杯子,这样你就可以喝到加了欧普特蒙乳清蛋白粉、Hi-Protein蛋白粉或50/50 Plus 蛋白碳水粉的奶昔了,如果需要碳水的话,还可以专门加点Pro Carb碳水化合物粉。

You could even throw in some MCT Oil if you need more calories. And,” I added in a flash in inspiration, “you could even mix in a little real coffee so your breath gives off that pungent java aroma and your customers don’t suspect there’s a musclehead under the three-piece suit slurping away on protein.”
如果需要更多热量,你还可以往里面加点中链三酸甘油脂油;此外,”我灵感闪现马上补充道,“你甚至可以往里面加点真咖啡,这样说话时就会喷出明显的咖啡味,客户就不会意识到有个穿着三件套西装的肌肉男在喝蛋白粉。”

Finding A Solution
找到解决方案

It was a great idea. In Massachusetts, there is a Dunkin’ Donuts franchise about every two blocks, and coffee is the unofficial fifth food group to most adults here. Everyone from the police officer to the harried housewife ferrying kids to soccer practice relies on a steady infusion of caffeine to help keep them awake and alert.
这主意很不错。在麻萨诸塞州,每两个街区就有一家唐恩都乐加盟店(Dunkin’ Donuts franchise),咖啡对这里的大多数成人而言属于非正式的第五类食物。从警官到送孩子去练足球的忙碌家庭主妇,所有人都需要经常喝点咖啡来帮助保持清醒和警惕。

I suppose if we took it away from all of them, we would be faced with an epidemic of narcolepsy. Since the last thing I want is to be on the road when the driver in the car in front of me spontaneously slumps over the wheel snoring, I am not about to challenge the widespread addiction to the coffee bean. Randy was now nodding.
我想,如果离开了咖啡,大家都会变得瞌睡连天。我最不想见到的事就是路上我前面的小车里的司机不自觉地倒在方向盘上睡得鼾声四起,为此我不会去反对大家对咖啡的沉溺。兰迪点了点头。

“Yeah, that might work. We already have one guy who must go through about twenty cups of coffee a day at the dealership, and he sips at them constantly even with his customers.”
“嗯,这个办法应该行得通。我们那里有个家伙每天要20杯咖啡,甚至在陪客户的时候也呷个不停。”

“I hope his prostate gland is in good shape, because that sounds like a whole lot of bathroom breaks to me.” Randy didn’t quite get that one. “Don’t worry, it’s nothing you need to think about – for about fifteen or twenty years, at least.”
“我希望他的前列腺还好,喝这么多估计得上好多厕所。”兰迪没有完全理解我刚说的这话。“没关系,你不需要关心这个,至少15或20年内不需要。”

“Okay, but I’m still having trouble with my workouts. If I train before work, I don’t feel like I’m really awake yet and kind of weak. If I train after work, I’m usually tired and feel weak too.”
“好吧,但我还有问题。如果我在上班前训练,会感觉没完全睡醒,人没有精神;如果在下班之后训练,人已经疲劳了,同样没有精神。”

“You need to set a time that you will train every day and stick to it, so that your body clock gets acclimated to performing at that particular time. I think you’re much better off training in the early morning before work. It’s only going to be rough for a week or two at most, then you get used to it and you’re just as strong as usual. Unless…”
“你需要定一个时间,每天坚持在那个时间训练,这样的你的生物钟就会适应。我认为上班前训练会好得多,头一两周是最难坚持的,之后适应了就好了,除非……”

“Unless what?” Randy demanded to know. “Unless you stay up all night with one of your little girlfriends, junior. Nobody gets a good workout on two hours of sleep.” “Well,” he said, actually starting to blush, “I have been staying up past my bedtime more often since I left home.”
“除非什么?”兰迪很想知道。“除非你和你女朋友通宵不睡瞎胡闹,帅哥。没人在只睡2小时的情况下还能锻炼好的。”“这个嘛,”他脸红起来,说道,“离开家后我的确经常都比较晚睡。”

“It’s all about time management. You know you need to sleep a good eight hours a night to grow, and it’s up to you to stay on top of that. I also recommend you make absolutely sure you get a good breakfast, lunch, and dinner if everything else is going to be shakes”. Randy agreed and promised to follow through on all of this, and we finished the workout.
“这完全是时间管理问题。你知道的,一晚睡足8小时才会长肉,能不能坚持好取决于你自己。还有,如果其他餐都是吃奶昔的话,建议你务必确保早中晚餐一定要吃好。”兰迪同意我说的话并保证贯彻执行,然后我们结束了锻炼。

Conclusion
结语

I looked across the street from the gym, where there was a Dunkin’ Donuts with a line of cars stretching from the drive-thru window all the way around the building to the other side. Yes, my fellow Yankees sure did love their coffee, and hundreds of thousands of them thought nothing of spending three or four dollars every day on some sugary concoction like a Coolata or a Dunkachino.
眺望健身房外,一街之隔便有一家唐恩都乐加盟店,一长串小车从驾车购物窗一路环绕这家店排到了另一侧。是的,我的同胞们的确很爱喝咖啡,他们不介意每天花个3、4美元买杯酷拉塔(Coolata)和唐卡奇诺(Dunkachino)之类的甜饮料。

I know, because I had downed more than a few of these myself. “I’m in the wrong business,” I mused to no one in particular. I sniffed the air. The girl at the front desk had a huge Styrofoam cup of some chocolaty-smelling coffee. My hand moved to my wallet as the coffee joint drew me like a magnet. “I can quit any time I want to,” I lied to myself, as any addict will.
我之所以知道是因为我自己也喝过不少。“我入错了行,”我自言自语道。我深深吸了一口气。前台的那个姑娘喝了一保丽龙杯某种巧克力味的咖啡。咖啡屋像磁铁一般吸引着我,我不自觉地摸了摸钱包。“只要我想,随时可以戒掉,”我骗自己道,就像任何成瘾者骗自己那样。

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