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[文化][健身健美][英中对照]健美大神之路 22 强需为善

一线实稿 樊明璨 来源:樊明璨博客 197浏览 0评论

健美大神之路(A Bodybuilder Is Born)

作者:罗恩·哈利斯(Ron Harris)

译者:樊明璨

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Episode 22 – Use Your Super-Powers For Good, Not Evil!
第22篇 强需为善

The Roxy is the nightclub in Boston where all the meatheads from Massachusetts go. Understand that when I use the word ‘meathead,’ it is a term of endearment for my fellow bodybuilders. Of course, if anyone other than a bodybuilder were to call me or any other bodybuilder by that term, we would take offense.
波士顿的洛克斯夜总会(Roxy)是所有来自马萨诸塞州的肉头们(meatheads)常去的地方。“肉头”是我对我的健美朋友们的亲昵称呼。当然,如果除健美运动员外的其他人要这样称呼我或任何其他健美运动员,我们会觉得受到了冒犯。

You can think of ‘meathead’ as having the same loose meaning as the ‘n’ word does to African-Americans. Only we bodybuilders can call each other meathead, otherwise it’s a slur.
就像用“黑鬼”称呼非洲裔美国人一样,你可以认为“肉头”一词同样具有蔑视意味。只有健美运动员之间才可以互称肉头,否则肉头便是一种蔑称。

Anyway, like I said, the Roxy on historic Tremont Street is where the jacked-up guys from my area of New England like to hang out. A few years ago the unofficial uniform for us was spandex T-shirts with a zippered collar. Though it has been out of style for quite some time, you will still catch some guys having fashion flashbacks and sporting the painted-on shirt look.
不管怎样,就像我说过的,特莱蒙街(Tremont Street)上的洛克斯夜总会是我所在的新英格兰地区的肌肉男们休闲常去的地方。几年前,大家一般会穿带拉链领的氨纶T恤。尽管现在这种服装已落伍多时,但你仍然会看到一些回顾时尚炫耀喷绘衬衫图案的人。

Personally, I don’t like to wear tight shirts anymore because they attract too much attention, some positive but more negative. Actually, the two most common reactions from what I have witnessed are amusement and jealousy. Girls usually think it’s fascinating to see a big muscle guy, in much the same way as it is to see a dog walking around with two heads – in other words, a freak or oddity.
我个人不再喜欢穿紧身衬衫了,因为会招来太多目光,一部分是善意的,但更多是非善意的。据我观察,常见反应一般有两种,一种是觉得好玩,另一种是心生嫉妒。女孩子一般会比较乐于看到肌肉男,就像看到一只双头狗(或者说怪物或奇葩)四处溜达一样。

Guys are worse, because they tend to get threatened or intimidated at the sight of another male who is far more muscular than they. This mostly stems from their erroneous belief that women salivate over bodybuilders. I think if a woman were drooling in the presence of a bodybuilder it would only be because he was offering her a Prada bag in one hand and a box of Godiva chocolates in the other.
男孩子的反应会糟些,因为看到远远比自己强壮的其他男性时往往得到的是威胁或恐吓。这在很大程度上根源于其错误观念,认为女性都喜欢肌肉男。在我看来,如果一个女人喜欢一个健美运动员,只会是因为他送了她一个普拉达包包和一盒歌帝梵巧克力。

My wife and I had never been out anywhere with my now occasional training partner Randy (his job as a car salesman meant our schedules were rarely in sync). Mostly this was because he rarely had a girlfriend for more than a few weeks.
我和我老婆从未和兰迪一起去过外面什么地方(他现在偶尔和我一起训练,汽车销售员的工作意味着我们在时间安排上很难同步)。这在很大程度上是因为他几周就换一次女友。

And when he did, they were usually under the age of 21 and thus couldn’t go anywhere we wanted to. But lately, Randy had been dating an ‘older’ woman, 25-year-old Mara from the finance department of his dealership. She only had two years on him, but I still liked to bust Randy’s chops about how he was her Boy Toy.
当他有了比较稳定的女友时,年龄又往往在21岁以下,因此无法去我们想去的地方。但最近,兰迪一直在和一个年龄较大的女孩约会,女孩名叫玛拉,25岁,隶属他所在经销店的财务部。她只比兰迪大两岁,但我还是喜欢取笑兰迪是她的小白脸。

It had been close to two months that they had been seeing each other, which I am fairly certain was a record for commitment-phobic Randy. Recently we all went out for a night of dancing at the Roxy. I would say dancing and drinks, but the damn drinks are eight or nine dollars each these days, and I am too much of a cheap-ass to spring for more than a couple on any given night.
他们已经耍了近两个月了,这对害怕承诺的兰迪而言算是创了纪录。最近,我们几个一起去了洛克斯夜总会,跳了一晚上的舞。除了跳舞,还有喝酒,但最近酒都是八九美元一杯,我这人比较吝啬,晚上请人喝酒最多也就两三杯。

When it comes to bodybuilders and how much skin they show, there seems to be an inverse relationship between the size they carry and the skimpiness of their tops. In other words, the smaller guys are usually the ones who still wear the spandex shirts, while the bigger dudes cover up more and tend to wear looser-fitting shirts.
就健美运动员及其暴露程度而言,块头与上身裸露程度之间似乎存在着反比关系。换言之,块头较小的一般穿的是氨纶衬衫,块头较大的反而不那么暴露,往往穿的是比较宽松的衬衫。

Randy, who was taller than me and weighs around 190, had the spandex going on, while I was 235 and in Clark Kent mode. We hung out together for a while near one of the three bars, where a round of drinks for the four of us came out to roughly the same amount of money as a lease payment on a BMW.
兰迪个头比我高,体重190磅左右,穿的是氨纶衬衫,而我体重235磅,穿得是克拉克·肯特(Clark Kent)那样的正装。我们四个在三家酒吧中的其中一家附近逛了一会儿。这家酒吧的一轮酒水花费差不多等于一辆宝马的租赁费。

Janet felt the urge to dance before Randy and Mara were ready to trip the lights fantastic, so we left them. As it turned out, the place was pretty packed and we didn’t see them again until two A.M. when the lights came up and everyone had to get the hell out. He sidled up to me as I waited in the coat check line, scowling. “Don’t tell me you two are breaking up,” I said. He just shook his head.
珍妮特迫不及待想跳舞,而兰迪和玛拉还未准备好,所以我们只好先行一步。后来,酒吧实在太挤了,我们再次见到他们时已是凌晨两点,此时灯光已经亮起来了,所有人必须离开。我在存衣处排队时,兰迪悄悄靠上来,一脸不高兴的样子。“不要告诉我你俩分手了。”我说。他摇摇头。

“Some jerk was trying to start some sh–,” he informed me in a growl. “He kept trying to dance with Mara even though I was right there with her. Then when I asked him what his problem was, he said something like, ooh, don’t hurt me, big muscle man. I swear I would have cracked him in the jaw if he didn’t take off right then. I wonder if he’s still here?”
“刚才有个垃圾想找茬,”他大声说,“老想找玛拉跳舞,我就在旁边,然后我问他到底想干嘛,他说了句‘肌肉哥算你叼’之类的话就走了。如果他不马上滚蛋,我TM肯定撕烂他的嘴巴。不知道他现在是不是还在这里。”

Randy was scanning the milling dance club patrons like the Terminator seeking out Sarah Connor.
兰迪扫视着人头簇动的舞客,就像终结者想找到莎拉·康纳(Sarah Connor)一样。

“Forget about it, kid, it’s not worth it.” He tried to argue but I shushed him, telling him we could talk about it on the drive home as I had been there and done that before.
“算了,亲,没什么大不了的。”他还想说什么,但我示意他别说了,开车回家路上再聊,这种事我以前也遇到过。

With the women in the backseat chatting about girl stuff (makeup tips and brownie recipes, no doubt), I shared my own experiences with Randy in the area of troublemakers.
回家路上,两个女人坐在后排聊女人的东西(化妆技巧、巧克力蛋糕食谱等等),而我则跟兰迪分享了对付这种闹事者的经验。

“Two incidents stand out clearly in my mind. They both happened at The Roxy, because that’s the club I like. The first one was two years ago. I was a few weeks away from a contest and probably shouldn’t have even been out in the first place. Anyway, I was dancing with Janet and she started undoing some buttons on my shirt, being in an amorous mood.
“有两件事我现在还记得很清楚,而且都发生在洛克斯夜总会,因为我喜欢这地方。第一件事发生在两年前,离某个比赛只有几周时间,也许当时就不该出来玩。总之,当时我在和珍妮特跳舞,她开始解我衬衫扣子,含情脉脉。

Being all tanned and ripped at around 215 at the time and being that my chest is among my best features, I didn’t stop her. That’s when I noticed this young guy standing there staring at me. He was a juiced-up little twerp with a red, puffy face, and from the way he was swaying like he was in the middle of a hurricane, he was pretty drunk.
当时我重215磅左右,全身古铜色,肌肉线条分明,胸肌是亮点之一。我没有阻止珍妮特。这时,我注意到旁边站着一个年轻男子一直盯着我看。他醉醺醺的,脸泛红且浮肿,感觉令人厌恶。从他如在飓风中的摇晃姿势来看,他真的喝高了。

He obviously had no female companionship, either, and Janet was wearing this red lace bodysuit that is actually illegal in twelve states. I am sure he was eating his heart out. The kid was saying, ‘real big bodybuilder’ in a real sarcastic tone and grinning at me like a punk. I said excuse me, what was that? He repeated it, and I was thinking that he had a death wish.
很明显,他没有女伴。珍妮特当时穿着红色蕾丝紧身衣裤。这种服装现已被12个州定为违禁服装。他当时心情肯定比较低落,对我露出一脸混混似的坏笑,并用一种嘲讽的语气对我说“块头大,不得了”。我说你说什么,再说一遍?他又说了一遍。我当时想这家伙是来找死的。

Not that I’m Bruce Lee or anything, but I could have mopped up the floor with this kid no problem. Luckily, Janet stepped in and told him to get lost and called him a loser. I’m pretty sure she flipped him off, too. That did it, he was humiliated and skulked away.
我虽不是李小龙之类的高手,但要摆平这小子是没有问题的。幸好这时珍妮特插进来对他说‘傻B,滚’,并对他竖了中指。他觉得难堪,就不声不响走掉了。”

“Didn’t you want to hit him when he was saying that to you?” Randy asked.
“他那样说你难道不想揍他吗?”兰迪问道。

“Yeah, but what then? If I did that, I would have been arrested for assault, and probably sued too for damages. I have a nice house and two kids, and I don’t need to deal with anything like that.”
“当然想,但之后呢?如果我揍了他,我会因伤人被抓起来,可能还会被起诉。我有一套不错的房子,还有两个孩子,我不想惹麻烦。”

“You said there were two times this happened, what was the other one?” Randy inquired.
“你说发生过两件事,另一件事是怎么回事?”兰迪问。

“That was only a few months ago. Janet was sitting on one of the little sofas waiting while I was in line to get our coats. This little greasy, skinny guy sits down next to her and starts leaning into her ear to give her his best rap. I turned back and saw this, and started yelling to draw his attention.
“另一件事发生在几个月前。珍妮特坐在一个小沙发上等我,当时我在排队取我们的外套。有个油头粉面的竹竿男在她旁边坐下并靠近她耳朵开始说唱。我转身时看到了这一切并朝他吼了一声,想引起他的注意。

With the music still blasting, he couldn’t hear me. I was impatient to get our coats and get over to them, and just as I did and tipped the coat check girl, I saw the guy try to slide his arm around Janet while she pulled away.
但音乐太吵了,他没有听见。我很想快点取了外套就过去。就在我取外套并给存衣处女服务员小费时,我看到那小子想伸手搂珍妮特但被她闪开了。”

That did it. I rushed over and stood in front of them. I am not the biggest man in the world, but I probably had four inches of height and eighty or ninety pounds on this slick would-be Romeo. I leaned right into his face and snarled, “can I help you with something? This is my wife, jackass!”
见此情形,我马上冲到他们面前。我不是世界上最强壮的男人,但我也比这个老色鬼高四英寸,重八九十磅。我凑近他的脸对他吼道,“想干啥,老色鬼?她是我老婆!”

He jumped up and took off like the Roadrunner. He may have even done the ‘meep meep’ sound effect. Janet told me she had told him she was there with her husband but this creep didn’t even care.
他迅速站起来,嗖地跑掉了。珍妮特说之前警告过他老公就在附近,但这猥琐男听不进去。

“Why didn’t you go over and blast him when you heard that?” Randy demanded.
“为什么你听到这都没过去揍他?”兰迪问。

“Why? Because for one thing, it was a total mismatch. I could have broken every bone in his body and tied him into knots like a human pretzel if I wanted to. But it wouldn’t have been right.”
“为什么?因为他根本不是对手。只要我想,我可以打断这孙子每根骨头,然后把他拧成一个花卷,但这样不好。”

“What do you mean? He had it coming, being so disrespectful like that.”
“什么意思?他罪有应得,无礼在先。”

“Maybe so, Randy, but at the same time, we have a special responsibility that comes with being bigger and stronger than regular men. I have a corny saying that goes, you should only use your super-powers for good, not evil. The absolute worst scumbags are the guys who get big and strong and act like bullies, starting fights to prove what tough guys they are.
“也许你说的没错,亲,但作为比普通人要强壮的人,我们要特别有正气。有一句朴素的话是这么说的——强者的强势应仅用于为善,而非作恶。最垃圾的就是那种练壮之后恃强凌弱的家伙,总喜欢以打架来证明自己多么牛B。

That kid on the dancefloor was like that. I wish I could take away his gym membership and ban him from lifting again until he smartened up and lost his crappy attitude. People have the idea already that we bodybuilders are mean and hostile. You can’t feed into that or else we all look like a-holes.
跳舞遇到的那个家伙就是这种人。我希望我能取消他的健身房会员资格,禁止他再健身,直到他觉悟提高改变错误态度为止。普通人有种先入为主的观念,觉得肌肉男都卑劣且不友善。你不能助长这种形象,否则我们全都看起来像混蛋了。

Luckily, being big does discourage a lot of would-be troublemakers from starting anything with you. Had I been the same size as that creep macking on Janet, he may have tried to start a fight.”
幸运的是,魁梧的身材的确能震慑住很多垃圾找你麻烦。如果我块头跟那个调戏珍妮特的猥琐男一样,他可能都跟我打起来了。”

“So what, I have to take crap from idiots like the one tonight? I can’t ever stand up for myself?”
“那就是说我今晚必须忍耐那个杂碎?我都不能捍卫自己的尊严?”

“I never said that. If someone continues to be disrespectful after you have either ignored or warned him, or if they invade the personal space of you or your woman, then it’s on like Donkey Kong. Light his ass up like a Christmas tree. But fighting should always be a last resort. This isn’t fifth grade anymore. Fighting when you are an adult has serious consequences, mostly legal in nature. Unless you are fighting in the UFC or K-1, you will most likely wind up in some kind of trouble afterward. One thing I would recommend is to not be so conspicuous. I wouldn’t wear a shirt like that out again.”
“我没这样说过。如果有人在你不理睬或警告过后仍然继续挑衅,或侵犯了你或你女人的个人空间,那就出手,像金刚一样狠狠揍他,让他的屁股开花开得像圣诞树一样。但打架任何时候都应是最后才采取的手段。已经不再是小孩子了,成人打架一般会有比较严重的后果,大多在性质上要承担法律责任。除非你是打UFC或K-1,否则最终很可能以麻烦缠身收场。我的建议是做人不要太张扬,以后出来玩儿不要再穿那种衬衫了。”

“Aw, come on, I can’t show off my hard work in the gym?” he pleaded.
“呃,不会吧,我都不能炫耀一下在健身房辛苦练出来的成果?”他央求道。

“No, ‘show off’ being the key phrase here. Seeing you flaunting your muscles pisses off the regular guys and makes them feel insecure. A few of them will react to that by trying to show that they’re tougher than you, in spite of your build. Put a few drinks into a guy like this, and he might even get the bright idea that beating you up would make all the other guys in the place respect him, and all the ladies want him.”
“不能,关键问题就在‘炫耀’上。炫示肌肉会让普通人感到厌恶和不安,无论你体格如何,有少数人会想证明他们比你更叼。如果这种人再喝点酒,他就可能飘飘然地以为打赢了你就会让在场的所有男人尊敬他,所有女人喜欢他。”

Randy chuckled at that. “That’s crazy!”
兰迪哈哈笑起来,“疯了!”

“I know, but male pride is a powerful thing that doesn’t have much to do with reason and logic. But like I said, dress a little more modestly and you will rarely have a problem. Another thing I can recommend is to try to do at least some of your clubbing at the after-parties that follow the big bodybuilding shows like the Arnold, the Night of Champions, and the Olympia.
“是啊,但男人的自尊心是一种强大的力量,没什么理性和逻辑可言。但就像我说过的,穿得收敛一点一般很少会惹上麻烦。另外建议你的一部分泡吧选择在阿诺德、冠军之夜、奥林匹亚等大型健美比赛后的赛后酒会上进行。

When the club is packed with meatheads, you no longer stand out as unusual and you can relax and have a good time without worrying about offending some jealous dweeb with your buffed body.”
当泡吧现场都是肉头时,你就不会像以前那样显得突兀了,你可以放松享受,不用担心自己强壮的体格会触怒某个嫉妒心强的逗比了。”

Randy was silent now, and appeared to be nodding off. I know he was putting in seventy-hour workweeks lately and was probably exhausted. In a minute he started snoring lightly. I turned the radio down and whispered toward the back.
兰迪沉默不语,似乎在打盹。他最近一周工作70个小时,可能累坏了。很快,他轻轻打起鼾来。我调低电台音量,小声对后面说:

“Mara?” She and Janet stopped talking.
“玛拉?”她和珍妮特停止了交谈。

“Yes?”
“什么事?”

“Do me a favor. I assume I am dropping off Randy at your place since he still lives with mommy and daddy?” It was dark, but I think I saw her blushing in the rearview mirror.
“帮我个忙,我想把兰迪扔你那儿,他爸妈还和他一起住,看见他这样不好。”虽然天色已晚,但通过后视镜我看到她唰地脸红了。

“Uh huh,” she replied. I caught a glimpse of Janet glaring at me. That glare meant that if I came out with a crude sexual remark right now, my own plans of ending the night properly could very well be jeopardized.
“好吧。”她回复道。我看到珍妮特瞪了我一眼,仿佛在说如果你接着提性方面的粗鄙话题,那你今晚的计划就等着泡汤吧。

“That shirt he has on. When you get a chance, I want you to rip it up. You can blame it on your dog.”
“他穿的那件衬衫,你有机会就把它撕了,就说是你狗狗干的。”

“But I don’t have any pets,” she said.
“可是我没养任何宠物。”她说。

“Then just tell him you hated it,” I offered.
“那就说你讨厌这种衬衫。”我建议。

“Well, I do.”
“好吧,我确实讨厌。”

“Ron had them in every color a few years ago before I tossed them all in the trash,” Janet piped in.
“罗恩几年前有好多件那种衬衫,各种颜色都有,后来我全当垃圾给扔了。”珍妮特插话道。

“Yes I did,” I remembered fondly. “Those were the days.”
“是的,我确实有过好多件,”我开心地想起往事,“好怀念那些日子。”

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