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[文化][健身健美][英中对照]健美大神之路 28 捷径真谛

一线实稿 樊明璨 来源:樊明璨博客 270浏览 0评论

健美大神之路(A Bodybuilder Is Born)

作者:罗恩·哈利斯(Ron Harris)

译者:樊明璨

Episode 28 – On The Fast Track.
第28篇 捷径真谛

It had been a month since Randy had started to specialize on his arms, calves, and upper chest, and the results were already starting to show. His arms only measured a quarter inch larger, but the shape was starting to come out with an especially more pronounced peak to his biceps and a ‘sweep’ to his triceps. I actually hesitate to use the qualifier ‘only’ when I refer to that quarter inch, because that’s a hell of a gain in a month. Hell, if I could add a quarter inch every month for the next ten months, my arms would be as big as Ronnie Coleman’s!
兰迪专项训练手臂、小腿、上胸已经一个月了,效果开始显现。经过测量,虽然手臂只比原来大了四分之一英寸,但肌肉开始成形了,二头肌更加突出,三头肌也更具形状。实际上我不太愿意用“只”这个修饰词来形容四分之一英寸,因为一个月就长这么多已经是海量了。哇塞,如果未来的十个月我能每个月都长四分之一英寸的话,我的手臂就会跟罗尼·库尔曼的一样大了!

I think a lot of us have our minds warped by ads and articles making outrageous claims of growth. Yes, ‘before’ using Super-Nitric-Pump Andro 5000, the guy is slumped, pasty white, and doesn’t have much of a physique going on. He looks ready to jump off the nearest bridge. Lo and behold, check out our man in the ‘after’ photo.
我想很多人都曾被无耻声称具有如何如何增肌效果的广告和文章洗脑过。比如服用Super-Nitric-Pump Andro 5000“之前”,这小伙子萎靡不振,脸色苍白,身材瘦小,准备要跳桥的样子,但瞧瞧服用“之后”的照片。

Instead of relaxing, he’s flexing hard. Rather than looking forlorn, a shit-eating grin paints his face, as if he has six or seven Playboy Playmates waiting for him back at home. A bronze tan has replaced the white fish-belly skin tone, and that clump of curly hair on his chest and stomach has been neatly shaved off to reveal all sorts of striations and veins.
松弛的肌肉变得结实饱满;悲惨绝望的样子变成了得意的笑,仿佛有六七个绝色美女在等他回家似的;肤色由鱼肚白变成了古铜色,胸口和腹部上的一小片卷毛刮净后,显露出各种线条和青筋。

The ad copy will proclaim such incredible accomplishments as, “Gained 30 pounds of muscle, lost 30 pounds of fat! Added three inches to arms! Increased bench press by 250 pounds! Sold his soul to Satan in exchange for eternal youth and riches!” Oh wait, they usually don’t have that last part.
广告文案会把这种神奇转变标榜为“增肌30磅!减脂30磅!臂围增加3英寸!卧推增加250磅!出卖灵魂给撒旦换取永恒的青春和财富!”,哦等等,广告商一般不会加最后一句。

I have attempted to expose the scam being perpetrated in these types of ads before. All you need to do to re-create the same results is take some decently-built bodybuilder and have him intentionally stop training, eat a bunch of crap, let his body hair grow, and stay out of the sun or tanning beds for a few months. That’s all it takes for that Adonis-like body to regress back to something more closely resembling the average slob in the gym. This is when the ‘before’ pictures are taken.
以前我曾试图曝光这种广告里的骗局。重现同样的结果很简单,找来一名身材不错的健美人员,故意让他停止训练,吃掉一大堆垃圾食品,不修体毛,不晒太阳或美黑床,几个月后,帅哥身材就会倒退成跟健身房里的懒鬼差不多。此时拍下“服用前”照片。

Now, let’s get that bodybuilder and whip him into top shape! Often, this coincides with a big contest the guy is going to compete in. He gets back on his training, cardio, and good eating (and often, his ‘special’ supplements), and Shazam! Eight or ten weeks later, our guy is the picture of muscular perfection. Snap the ‘after’ photos at this point and put your print ad together, giving all the credit to the product being advertised as being responsible for this transformation.
然后,督促该健美人员恢复巅峰状态!一般来说,他恢复好后正好有一场大赛要参加。他开始恢复训练、有氧运动、合理饮食(及‘特殊’补剂),然后8或10周后,哇啦,完美肌肉男出炉!此时拍下“服用后”照片,然后推出印刷广告,将产生这种转变的所有功劳归于所宣传的产品。

Those of us who have been around the game a while won’t fall for this chicanery, but there are a whole lot of beginners and intermediates out there who lap it up like my dog Chewy gobbles down peanut butter any chance she gets.
健美老手一般不会上这种骗局的当,但有很多新手和介于新手和老手之间的人会趋之若鹜,就像我的狗Chewy一样,一有机会就狂吃花生酱。

It wouldn’t be so bad if the only result were that they plunk down their cash on a lot of questionable supplements, but I think the worst thing is that it convinces the person that he is an utter failure if he doesn’t reproduce a similarly spectacular outcome with his physique in that short time. Randy had seen way too many of these ads, as became clear one Saturday when we were training arms on his volume day. He flexed a bicep in the mirror and scowled.
如果他们只是砸了钱在一大堆可疑的补剂上,这样的结果还不算坏,最糟糕的是砸了钱没在短时间内见到成效后他们会坚信自己太失败了。兰迪以前就是看了太多这种广告,我是在某个星期六我们用大量充血训练法练手臂时看出来的。当时他在镜子前鼓起一只手的二头肌,一脸不悦。

“They still don’t look that big,” he pouted.
“看上去还是没有那样大。”他撅撅嘴。

“Young buck, what the hell is wrong with you? Maybe it’s because I don’t see you more than once a week lately, but your arms are definitely bigger and have better shape than they did just last month.” Randy digested that for a moment, but was determined to shoot down any attempt at a compliment or encouragement. He was a master at this, as most bodybuilders are – he has a long way to go before he reaches my level of deflecting sincere compliments.
“小子,你咋了?也许是因为我最近一周才见你一次的缘故,觉得你手臂比上个月确实大了不少,形状也更好了。”兰迪回味了一下我刚才的话,遂决定对该赞美或鼓励不予采信。跟大多数健美运动员一样,他是这方面的老手,但他要达到我的恭维水平还有很长的路要走。

“Well maybe, but they’re still nowhere near big enough. Maybe I should do that routine I saw in the magazine where you can add two inches to it in one day.”
“也许吧,但还是远远不够大。也许我应该做做杂志上看到的那套训练动作,一天就可以增大2英寸。”

I knew the article he was referring to. It claimed that by devoting an entire day in the gym to arm training, hitting the biceps and triceps every hour on the hour for six or eight hours, you could indeed increase their girth by two inches. Some of it was temporary inflammation from beating the crap out of them all day, the author conceded, but he insisted that most of the gains were permanent.
我知道他说的是哪篇文章。该文章宣称只要在健身房练上一整天手臂,做到每小时准点练二头肌和三头肌,练上6或8个小时,臂围就能增长2英寸。虽然作者承认其中一部分增长其实是全天猛练导致的暂时肿胀,但他坚决认为大部分增长是长期性的。

I try to keep an open mind, but this one reeked of bull. The only sure-fire way I knew of to add two inches to your arms would be to shoot them up with about a quart of Synthol each – which is something I am vehemently against.
虽然我力求保持开明,但这篇文章实在有点牛皮味道。就我所知,万无一失的增肌方法就是给每只手臂注射一夸脱西斯龙,但我强烈反对这样做。

Call me old-fashioned, but I thought bodybuilding was about training hard to build muscle, not just sticking a needle in the muscle and pumping it up with oil to make it look as if it’s grown.
说我落伍也罢,但我始终认为,靠刻苦训练发达肌肉才是健美,靠注射石油撑大肌肉不是。

Besides which, the results of Synthol were usually glaringly obvious, as the arms and shoulders, the most commonly injected areas, took on a lumpy, misshapen appearance that brought to mind such tragically deformed characters as Quasimodo the Hunchback, and John Merrick, the Elephant Man. And we all know what happened to Merrick – his skeleton was eventually bought by Michael Jackson and displayed at his Neverland Ranch! Talk about a fate worse than death itself (This is false – learn more).
况且,西斯龙的效果往往太明显了,手臂和肩这种最常见的注射部位会显得畸形肿大,让人联想到驼背卡西莫多(Quasimodo the Hunchback)、大象人约翰·梅里克(John Merrick)等畸形悲剧人物。大家都知道梅里克的结局——他的骨骼最后被迈克·杰克逊买下并放在他的梦幻庄园(Neverland Ranch)里展示!这样的命运比死亡本身还要糟糕(这不是真事,了解详情)。

“Randy, forget about these crazy quick fixes, seriously,” I admonished him. “Muscle growth is a painfully slow process, even under the best circumstances. Right now, by having you specialize on your weaker bodyparts, we are putting those muscle groups on the fast track to growth. At the rate you are going, I predict you will make more gains in your arms, chest, and calves in the few months you do this than you would have in over a year of regular training.” Randy still didn’t seem satisfied.
“兰迪,别用那些所谓的速成药了,真的,”我告诫他,“增肌是一个缓慢而痛苦的过程,即使在最好的情况下也是如此。目前针对你较弱部位的专项训练已经是增肌捷径了。照你现在的增肌速度,我预计几个月内你的手臂、胸、小腿增长的肌肉会比你正常训练一年以上还要多。”兰迪看起来仍然不满足。

“I guess, but I really need twenty-inch arms and calves.”
“也许吧,但我真的想有20英寸的手臂和小腿。”

“Yes, I know, we all do, and I am still trying to hit those numbers. I think the problem is that when God was passing out the genetics for big arms, I was stuck in the bathroom due to some bad nachos at the cafeteria in Heaven. My guess is that the cheese went bad.”
“嗯,我知道,大家都想,我也仍然在努力达到这个目标。我想,问题的关键在于,当上帝在发放巨臂基因时,我却在躲在厕所里偷吃天堂自助餐厅里坏了的烤干酪辣味玉米片。我猜是奶酪坏了。”

“Huh?” Randy was at a loss. “What are you talking about?”
“啊?”兰迪茫然,“你在说什么?”

“Never mind,” I said, “It’s not your problem. Listen, you will eventually get those measurements, but it’s not going to happen for your first contest next May, sorry to break it to you. It may take you two, three, maybe five years until you get close to the size you want to be. I don’t want to scare you away from bodybuilding, but most of the top guys in the IFBB and even at the National level have all been training hard for at least ten years, many of them for as long as fifteen or twenty years.”
“当我没说,”我说,“不是你的问题。听着,你最终会拥有20英寸的手臂和小腿的,但明年五月首次参赛时不会有,你可能需要两三年甚至五年才能差不多达到你想达到的尺寸。抱歉让你知道了真相。我不想吓得你放弃健美,但你要知道,大多数国际健美联合会甚至国家级的顶尖健美运动员都至少训练了10年,其中很多人练了15或20年。”

“Oh man,” Randy moaned. “I’m going to be an old man before I’m huge!”
“哎,”兰迪叹息,“等我练成大块头都老了!”

“I resemble that remark!” I shot back, self-conscious of being 35 now and staring down the barrel of Forty (the red Corvette and 19-year-old blonde can’t be too far off now). “You have to remember that bodybuilding is a sport unlike most others. In sports like figure skating, tennis, and gymnastics, most athletes hit their prime in their teens and early twenties and after that are only suited for skating around in a Buzz Lightyear costume on Disney on Ice, or doing 1-800-COLLECT commercials with Carrot Top.”
“我就像你说的那样!”想到自己已经35并感受到来自40的压力(红色雪佛兰科尔维特和19岁的金发女郎也不会太远了),我回应道,“但别忘了,健美跟其他大多数运动不同,在花式滑冰、网球、体操等运动中,大多数运动员十几岁或二十出头就达到巅峰状态,之后就只适合穿着巴斯光年服装在迪士尼冰上巡演上随便滑一下,或者和红发人一起做1-800-COLLECT广告。”

“I hate that guy,” Randy interjected.
“我讨厌那家伙。”兰迪插话道。

“I know, everyone does, that’s not the point here. The point is that as long as you keep improving, you are succeeding. If muscle came fast and easy, anybody could look like a champion bodybuilder. But few do. You have to be tremendously dedicated and work hard for many years to build an outstanding physique.”
“我知道,大家都讨厌他,这不是重点,重点是只要你在不断进步,你就会成功。如果肌肉来得又快又容易,那大家都成健美冠军了,但事实是没多少人能成为健美冠军。你必须非常专注并刻苦训练很多年才能练成出色的体格。”

“Ugh, there you go with that many years thing again, you’re killing me.”
“哎呀,又是很多年,真要命。”

“I tell you, the time passes by before you know it, kid. It literally seems like yesterday that I was your age and still trying to figure all this stuff out – without a great, cool, mentor like me, I might add.”
“亲,我跟你说,时间不知不觉就流逝了,仿佛昨天我还是你这么大,还在钻研各种健美问题,只不过身边没有一个像我这样的牛逼导师罢了。”

“Yeah, I know, you’re the greatest, Ron,” Randy said unconvincingly.
“嗯,我知道,你最厉害了,教练。”兰迪勉强地说。

“Really? Aw, thanks. Anyway, as long as you constantly continue to evaluate what needs to be improved in your physique and keep coming up with solid plans in limited time periods to make those improvements, you really have nothing to worry about.”
“真的吗?哦,谢谢。总之,只要你不断评估体格上需要改进之处,并在各个时段内制定出有效的改进计划,你真的不用担心什么。”

Randy flexed again, but the pump in his biceps had gone away. Luckily, he had a few more sets to go and would regain that tight swollen look in his arms we all get off on.
兰迪再次鼓了鼓肌肉,但他二头肌的充血状态早已消失。幸运的是他还有几组动作要做,到时手臂又会恢复大家都乐于见到的胀紧状态。

“Hey, do you think you can get next Tuesday off from work?” I said out of the blue. Randy furrowed his brow.
“嘿,你看你下周二能休息吗?”我突然问道。

“I don’t think so, why?”
“不行,怎么了?”

“I was thinking of hanging out here in the gym from six in the morning until ten at night to train calves. I bet we can put three inches on those puppies!” I cackled like a maniac as I settled down on the preacher bench for a set of single-arm dumbbell curls.
“我想从早上6点到晚上10点一直待在健身房里,我敢打赌我们能让手臂增长3英寸!”我像个疯子一样咯咯笑道,说着我在牧师凳上做了一组单臂哑铃弯举。

“You can be such a jackass sometimes,” said Randy.
“有时候你很混蛋。”兰迪说。

“Maybe so, but I am the greatest jackass of them all!”
“也许吧,但我是所有人中最厉害的混蛋。”

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