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[文化][健身健美][英中对照]健美大神之路 34 己是劲敌

一线实稿 樊明璨 来源:樊明璨博客 217浏览 0评论

健美大神之路(A Bodybuilder Is Born)

作者:罗恩·哈利斯(Ron Harris)

译者:樊明璨

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Episode 34 – Your Own Worst Enemy
第34篇 己是劲敌

I had met Randy over two years ago, which meant he had been a firsthand witness to my disastrous spring 2003 prep for the Orange County and New England bodybuilding contests, held in Anaheim, California and Boston, Massachusetts, a week apart. What had happened was that about three weeks out from the Orange County, the first of the two shows, I had weighed around 212 pounds and was very happy with the way my physique had shaped up.
我是在两年多前认识兰迪的,这就是说他亲眼目睹了2003年春我为两场仅一周相隔的比赛——分别在加利福尼亚州阿拉罕和马萨诸塞州波士顿举办的奥兰治县健美大赛和新英格兰健美大赛——所做的结局非常悲剧的备赛。事情是这样的。离奥兰治县健美大赛(两场比赛中的第一场)还有大约三周时,我称重是212磅左右,同时也对自己的体格形态感到非常满意。

Happy, that is, except for the nagging concern that I absolutely had to have striated glutes. Few people outside of proctologists and pornographers think about butts as much as we bodybuilders do, and in our case we are obsessed with stripping any and all fat off of our gluteus maximus muscles until it resembles a skinned rabbit (though if I ever saw rabbit ears sticking out from the sides of my ass, it would be cause for alarm).
满意是满意,但心里总念着臀肌必须得有线条。除肛门病学家和色情文学作家外,很少有人像我们健美运动员一样那么关注屁股。我们这些练健美的总痴迷于脱去臀大肌上的所有脂肪直至它看起来像只剥了皮的兔子(但如果我看到有兔子耳朵从屁股两侧伸出来,就要引起警惕了。)

We all know that women are forever dissatisfied with their derrieres, constantly thinking that they have expanded in size while they were sleeping, or that some pair of pants of skirt gives onlookers the impression that their butt is roughly the size of a Mini Cooper. But bodybuilders take it to a whole other level.
众所周知,女人永远对自己的臀部不满意,不是认为睡觉时屁股变大了,就是认为某条裙子的裤子会让旁观者觉得自己屁股差不多有迷你库柏那样大,但健美运动员在这方面还要变态得多。

Considering that most Americans have either flat, wimpy butts that sag and droop like wet dishrags, or enormous pillows of dimpled cellulite wide enough to show a movie on, you would think we would be grateful to own glutes that are hard and strong, and that don’t jiggle when we jump up and down (oh come on, like you’ve never looked?). But no, when we are preparing for a contest, we don’t feel ‘in shape’ until our glutes have more grooves and notches in them than Jenna Jameson’s headboard.
鉴于大多数美国人的屁股要么既不翘也不挺,下垂得跟湿洗碗布似的,要么就是有大量坑洼脂肪团块,宽得可以在上面放电影,你可能会认为我们会庆幸自己拥有结实坚挺的屁股,而且上串下跳时屁股也不会左摇右甩(少装B,好像你从没看过似的?)。但事实并非这样,当我们在备赛时,我们不觉得这样的屁股有多好,除非屁股上的纹路和凹陷比詹娜·杰姆逊(Jenna Jameson)床头板上的还多。

In 2003, the obsession caused me to go crazy with cardio, doing nearly two hours of intense interval-style running on a Precor elliptical runner every day and jacking up my nervous system so badly that I was only sleeping about four hours a night. The result was that I burned muscle faster in those last three weeks than an SUV with a V-8 engine burns gas in stop and go city traffic with the A/C on full blast. I sucked down to 197, and I sucked on stage. Now Randy was running the risk of repeating my mistake.
2003年,我像着了魔一样疯狂练有氧,每天在必确(Precor)椭圆机上做间歇式剧烈跑近两个小时,把神经系统刺激得高度兴奋以致于我每晚只能睡4个小时。结果,赛前最后三周掉肌肉的速度比配了V-8引擎的SUV在走走停停的城市道路上全开空调情况下烧油还快,我狂降至197磅,比赛自然落败了。兰迪现在有重蹈覆辙的风险。

“What are you down to now?” I asked him, a little less than two weeks out from the show.
“你现在降到多少了?”离比赛不到两周时我问他。

“184, but you should see my hams,” he replied, dropping his pants. I forgot to mention we were in the middle of the gym workout floor. A housewife in her forties who dressed like she was 20 nearly walked into a pole checking him out.
“184磅,但股二头肌很明显。”他回复道,拉下裤子向我展示。我忘了说,我们当时正在健身房训练场中央。一个穿得像20岁但实际40多岁的家庭主妇边走边看他时撞到了一根柱子。

“You have some good separation back there,” I agreed, “but your legs are withering away. Have you been doing more cardio than you told me last time?” Randy had picked up a Stairmaster for his home so he didn’t have to go to the gym to do cardio. That was great, but it also meant that if he started going psycho and feeling like he needed to do cardio in the middle of the night, he only had to drag his ass over to his garage.
“后面的分离度还不错,”我附和道,“但你的腿萎缩了,有氧做得比你上次告诉我的还多?”兰迪早前买了一个家用爬梯机,这样他就不必来健身房做有氧了。这样很好,但同时也意味着如果他突然发疯觉得需要在半夜做有氧,他就只有拖着屁股去自家车库。

“I started doing it after work when I got home, yeah, for an hour.”
“是的,下班回到家开始做,会练上一个小时。”

“You realize you’re going to be a middleweight, right?” I told him. He had pulled his pants back up and was looking at me with irritation. The housewife with the belly shirt showing her navel ring frowned. I think she had been ready to go grab some dollar bills out of her purse to stuff in Randy’s bikini underwear.
“你意识到自己体重快成中量级了吗?”我问。他拉上裤子,不悦地看着我。那个穿着露脐装肚脐上有环的家庭主妇眉头紧锁。我想她早已准备好从钱包里拿些钞票出来塞进兰迪比基尼内裤里了。

“No way, by the time I carb up I should be about 195,” he assured me. “I’m just a little flat right now.” I shook my head.
“不可能,等我吃了碳水化合物后,我应该会有195磅。”他确信地说,“我只是目前有点缩水而已。”我摇摇头。

“Dude, that’s what so many novice competitors think. They overdo the cardio and training in general leading up to a show, and lose a lot of muscle. But they are in denial. They tell themselves they’re flat, and they think a few bowls of rice and some sweet potatoes are going to magically fill them out ten or fifteen pounds. It doesn’t work that way, I’m sorry to break it to you. And you also forget that when you drop your water the night before the show, you will lose anywhere from five to twelve pounds by the time you get on the scale to weigh in.”
“亲,很多参赛新手也是这样想的。他们一般在赛前过度做有氧并过度训练,结果掉了很多肌肉还不承认。他们告诉自己肌肉确实缩水了,并想当然地认为吃几碗米饭和甜土豆就可以魔法般地补回10磅甚至15磅。这是无稽之谈!我很抱歉,不过这就是事实。还有,别忘了,比赛前夜脱水后至称重前这段时间,你会掉5~12磅。”

“What? Get outta here.” Clearly Randy thought I was messing with him.
“瞎扯,我不想听。”很明显,兰迪认为我在忽悠他。

“Oh, trust me. You want to see some shocked and angry people? Wait until everybody weighs in the morning of our show. Nobody ever accepts that the weight on the scale is accurate, and amazingly, everyone always thinks it’s light. I have seen guys come close to punching out the poor sap who has to stand there and record the weights because they are so mad at the weight they lost. But think about it. If our bodies are seventy-five percent water, not drinking anything for twelve to twenty-four hours can result in a pretty dramatic loss in bodyweight.”
“相信我,比赛那天早上称重的时候你这种情况的人都会惊讶并愤怒,无法接受称出来的重量,老觉得秤不准,称轻了,有的人因掉体重太气甚至差点殴打站在那里的体重记录员。但好好想想吧,如果我们的身体75%是水,连续12~24个小时没喝任何东西,体重肯定会大幅下降。”

“Kinda like when fat people go on the Atkins Diet and get all happy when they lose so much weight so fast, but it’s almost all water from eating no carbs all of a sudden?” At least Randy was thinking, not just letting his emotions cloud his brain.
“是不是有点像胖子用阿特金斯饮食法减肥,体重很快下降时非常开心,但由于突然断掉碳水化合物,所以减掉的主要是水?”还好,兰迪有在思考,没有让情绪蒙蔽大脑。

“Exactly,” I said. “So whatever you happen to weigh even the day before the show, count on losing another five to ten pounds by the time you get there. What you need to do is chill out on the cardio now and do less than before, not more, or else you’re going to waste away to a stick figure. This is bodybuilding, not body-disappearing, dumbass.”
“对极了!”我说,“所以不管在比赛前一天称出来有多重,你都要预料到赛场称重时还会掉个5~10磅。你现在要做的就是冷静对待有氧,少做点,不要多做,否则你会瘦成干柴。这是一项减脂增肌的运动,不是减脂减肌,傻瓜。”

“But I’m still not lean enough,” he complained.
“但我还是不够瘦啊。”他抱怨道。

“Okay, that’s true. But you are very close to where you need to be,” I said. “It’s your first show. Nobody expects you to be as ripped as a pro. And you have less than two weeks left. Realistically, you can lose a maximum of four pounds of fat in that time, but you could also lose four to eight pounds of pure muscle mass if you continue doing what you’re doing. You were doing a good job most of this diet, losing about a pound of bodyweight a week, just like John Parrillo advises, but you have started becoming your own worst enemy.
“是不够瘦,但也非常接近你需要达到的水平了,”我说,“这次比赛是你的首秀,没人指望你轮廓分明得跟职业选手一样。你还有不到两周时间了,实事求是地说,这段时间内你最多只能减掉4磅脂肪,但你同时也会减掉4~8磅纯肌肉,如果你继续像现在这样练的话。这次节食减脂在很大程度上你做得很好,就跟约翰·帕里略建议的那样,体重1周减了1磅,但现在你却成了自己最大的敌人。

Limit the cardio now to no more than an hour total a day, and you need to stop it completely at three or four days out. I would also bump up your protein with an extra scoop of Optimum Whey protein powder with every meal to help preserve your muscle mass while you whittle away the last bit of bodyfat. How many liver aminos do you take with each meal now?”
从现在起,将每天的有氧运动时间限制在1小时内,离比赛还有三四天时彻底停做。我会每餐给你多加一勺欧普特蒙乳清蛋白粉增加你的蛋白质摄入,以便你在减最后一点体脂的同时保持肌肉。你现在每餐吃多少肝脏氨基酸?”

“Five,” he said.
“5克。”他答道。

“Bring that up to eight. That will give you a little more protein, but more importantly, the iron and B-vitamins your body needs at this most stressful time. Also, reduce your training volume with the weights by a third. You’re not going to be putting on any muscle between now and the show, so there’s no need to go crazy in the gym.”
“加到8克吧,这会让你多获得点蛋白质,但更重要的是让你在这个压力最大的时段获得身体所需的铁和B族维生素。同时减少训练重量吧,只用之前的三分之一。从现在起到比赛开始这段时间,你不会再长肌肉了,所以不需要在健身房练这么猛。”

I forgot to mention that because I had been more careful not to overdo things, I was definitely not going to be one of the men to beat Randy in the light-heavyweights. At 12 days out, I was still 217 pounds and would probably weigh in around 205 or so. This had eased the mood between Randy and I somewhat, as he no longer harbored resentment toward me in advance. Of course, I had plenty to worry about myself.
忘了说的是,由于我之前很小心,没有过度训练,所以我肯定不会打兰迪参加的轻重量级比赛。离比赛还有12天时,我仍然有217磅,比赛称重时可能会有205磅左右。这在一定程度上缓和了我和兰迪之间的气氛,他可以提前不用再愤恨我了。当然,我有很多地方要操心自己。

One of the guys in my class had been posting on that message board I call “Muscle Madness,” and his screen name was “TooLarge4U.” Uh oh! Then again, everything is relative. Too large for who, exactly? To the average person, any guy over 200 pounds with a six-pack was considered a freak.
我所在的重量级中有一个人一直在肌肉疯狂论坛上发帖,他的网名叫TooLarge4U(译者注:字面意思是“比你大太多”)。但是,重申一下,任何事都是相对的,到底比谁大太多呢?相对普通人而言,任何一个200磅以上有六块腹肌的选手都堪称大块头。

Of course, if he was too large for Ronnie Coleman, we were all in deep doo-doo. As always, nobody would really know who stood where in the scheme of things until we were all out there on stage. All I knew was that Randy was going to look a whole lot better if he did less, not more, over the next twelve days. Meanwhile, I needed his opinion on something. I turned and studied myself in the mirror.
当然,如果他比罗尼·库尔曼大太多的话,那我们麻烦就大了。跟以往一样,未上台前,没人会真正知道谁强谁弱。我只知道,如果兰迪在接下来的12天里少练点,他会看上去好很多。同时,我需要听听他对某事的看法。我转身对着镜子仔细打量起自己来。

“Randy,” I said. “Be honest. Do these pants make my ass look big?”
“亲,”我说,“说实话,这裤子有让我的屁股看起来大吗?”

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