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[文化][健身健美][英中对照]健美大神之路 35 敷衍无用

一线实稿 樊明璨 来源:樊明璨博客 303浏览 0评论

健美大神之路(A Bodybuilder Is Born)

作者:罗恩·哈利斯(Ron Harris)

译者:樊明璨

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Episode 35 – Going Through The Motions Isn’t Enough!
第35篇 敷衍无用

I write about training with Randy all of the time, but the reality is that my main training partner, especially since Randy started selling Ford automobiles last year, is my wife of fourteen years, Janet.
一直以来,我写的都是和兰迪一起训练的事,但我的主要训练伙伴——尤其是兰迪去年开始做福特汽车推销员后——其实是和我已婚14年的妻子珍妮特。

As good a training partner as Randy is, him being a young stallion that this old veteran has to keep in his place by lifting heavier and harder, Janet is actually better in several ways. For one thing, she’s much nicer to look at. Another bonus is that she is such a Form Cop that I almost never get hurt training with her.
兰迪是一个不错的训练伙伴,作为一个年轻人,让我这个老手不得不为保持地位练得更重更刻苦。跟兰迪一样,珍妮特也是一个不错的训练伙伴,但在某些方面还要好些。首先,她更好看。其次,她喜欢监督别人动作是否变形,和她一起训练我几乎从未受过伤。

If I can’t get the first few reps of an exercise, I always know she won’t help contribute to my delusion (formally known in Bodybuilding Psychology as the “All You” syndrome) by helping to lift a portion of the weight. Instead, she will stand idly by, hands nowhere near the weight, and in her deadpan delivery inform me, “It’s too much weight.”
如果某个练习的头几个我无法完成,我知道她绝不会来搭力,以免助长我的妄想(健美心理学上的正式名称为“装逼综合征”)。她会漠然站在一旁,绝不伸援手,冷冷对我说道:“太重了。”

With Randy, and pretty much every other male I have ever trained with, there is no such thing as too much weight. With ‘just a little help,’ which often translates into an all-out effort from two men, almost any amount of resistance is possible. The fact that this type of nonsense could easily lead to a torn muscle or wrecked joint pales in the face of the tremendous ego boost of feeling as if you are the world’s strongest man.
要是和兰迪或其他任何基友一起练的话,从没有太重一说。只消说一句“稍微搭点力”(实际往往变成两个男人用尽全力),几乎没有什么重量是不可能搞定的。这种不合理的做法其实很容易导致肌肉拉伤或关节损伤,但仿佛自己全世界最牛逼那种感觉上的极度自我膨胀让人忽略了其可能带来的严重后果。

Oddly enough, when I get asked for a spot from strange guys in the gym who I can see are looking for me to lift half the weight for them (as you may imagine, there is usually a bench press involved), I am not generous in the least. If I have to help too much, I get perturbed and tell them, “I’m not lifting the weight for you, dude.” Rarely do they ever ask me for a spot again – which is fine, I’m a busy guy.
说来也怪,当健身房里有陌生人叫我帮忙保护时(看得出是要我搭力提起一半的重量,你可以想象,通常都是卧推呀什么的),我一点也不买账。如果要我搭力太多,我会烦,我会对他们说“帮不了你,朋友。”之后他们就很少再叫我保护了,这样挺好,我本身就没什么空。

Training With My Wife
同妻训练

As a husband and wife who are also bodybuilders, Janet and I tend to stand out in the gym. For either a single man or woman to be a prime physical specimen is impressive enough, but when people find out we are married, have real jobs (if you can call being a writer a real job – I always say it must be, since I get paid in real money), and have two children, we often get the same awed reaction you might expect from a person who has walked on the moon, climbed Everest without oxygen tanks, or resisted buying an 8-cylinder, gas-guzzling SUV despite being a US resident.
作为同是健美运动员的夫妻,我和珍妮特在健身房里往往比较惹眼。虽然作为即将成为优秀健美榜样的单男或单女我们足够养眼,但当大家发现我们已婚、有真正的工作(如果撰稿人能被称为一份真正的工作的话——我一直认为必须是,因为我拿到实打实的钞票)并有两个孩子时,他们的反应都很惊讶,好像他们尽管是美国居民但却在月球上行走过,不带氧气瓶爬过珠穆朗玛峰,或忍住了没买8缸耗油SUV似的。

We tend to draw a lot more attention when we’re in shape, as you might guess. Shortly before the NPC New England, which we both entered as heavyweights (look for that story in the next episode, including Randy’s competitive debut), we were both tanned, lean, and looking like something right out of the pages of a muscle magazine.
正如你猜到的那样,当我们身材较好时,往往会更加引人注目。就在美国国家体格委员会新英格兰大赛前不久(我们已报名打重量级比赛。下一篇文章会详细谈到此事,包括兰迪的比赛首秀),我们的形象就是你在健美杂志上看到过的那种——古铜色的皮肤加线条分明的肌肉。

To be blunt, we stood out among the average Joes and Janes around us as freaks. But as bodybuilders, attaining the status of freaks was an honorable distinction.
坦率地说,在一群普通男女中间我们这种大块头很抢眼,但作为健美运动员,练成大块头则是一种荣誉。

It meant that our years of dedication to consistent hard training and good nutrition had resulted in bodies that were completely unlike that of the garden-variety Homo Sapiens. That’s the scientific term for the species of human beings, for you mental midgets chuckling out there.
这意味着我们多年不懈的刻苦训练和合理饮食换来了完全不同于普通智人的身材。给在那边咯咯发笑的弱智科普一下,现代人类这个物种的学名就是智人。

There may actually be another Sapiens on the end of that, but I didn’t want to confuse you anymore with what would probably be mistaken as a typo by those that think Anthropology is the study of ants.
刻苦训练和合理饮食换来的也可能是另一种智人,但我不想再用可能被那些认为人类学是研究蚂蚁的人误解为打字错误的东西来把你弄糊涂了。

Asking Janet For Advice
请教珍妮特

We both got a lot of questions asking ‘how we got this way’ from folks in the gym. Janet gets about double the amount as me, since a beautiful, feminine woman with muscles is a far more rare creature than a buffed adult male.
健身房的很多朋友都会问我们“怎么练成这样的”。珍妮特被问的次数几乎是我的两倍,因为同一个强壮的成年男性相比,一个有肌肉的娇柔漂亮女人要稀有得多。

Of course, many of those asking her for advice were really just horny guys trying to hit on her, who totally ignored the wedding band and substantial twinkling rock adorning her left ring finger. They never seemed to come around when I was training with her, oddly enough.
当然,许多向她请教的人只是好色之徒想勾引她而已,完全没注意到她左手无名指上的婚戒和闪闪发光的昂贵钻石。说来也怪,我和她一起训练的时候,这些家伙似乎从不来搭讪。

And as you might imagine, there were always plenty of sincere women who would approach Janet looking for a quick fix in the form of some super slimming diet or fat-burner pill, or the one magic exercise that would melt away their chunky butts and thunder thighs.
正如你能想到的那样,总有很多真心求教的女人来找珍妮特,希望能得到超级减肥餐或燃脂药丸之类的速成口服用品,或是能收紧肥臀和象腿的某种神奇练习。

Many of them were quick to offer up the excuse for their being anything from a little flabby to roughly the size and shape of an elephant seal, explaining that they had given birth one or more times. And as we all know, that means you absolutely have to get fat and remain so for the rest of your life, right?
其中许多人会很快给出她们小胖大胖超级胖的理由,说什么生过一次或多次孩子之类。众所周知,那就意味着你肯定不得不发胖并一辈子都得是那个样子,是吧?

I loved it when Janet informed them that she was the proud mother of an 11-year-old and a 5-year-old, and had ballooned up to 205 and 190 pounds, respectively, during her pregnancies. She was a whole lotta woman in those days, let me tell ya.
我很高兴看到珍妮特自豪地告诉她们,她是11岁和5岁两个孩子的妈,怀孕期间曾经分别胖达205磅和190磅。告诉你吧,她曾经是个大美女。

I won’t say I wasn’t still attracted to her, but I will say that the only positive change to her body was that her breasts swelled up two full cup sizes without any surgical procedure involved.
虽然不能说当时她对我没有吸引力了,但我必须说,她身体上出现的唯一好的变化就是未做任何手术的情况下乳房大了整整两个罩杯。

And oh yeah, they leaked this milk that tasted pretty horrible, but I heard there was something called colostrum in it which could help me grow bigger – therefore any that I did drink was purely in the interest of science and to further my physique goals. For the record, I don’t think it worked, but it was an enjoyable experiment.
是的,乳房分泌的乳汁味道是不咋样,但我听说乳汁里面有种叫初乳的东西有利于我长块头,因此,我喝乳汁纯粹是为尊重科学并实现我的体格目标。郑重声明,我不认为喝这东西有用,但试验一下也挺有趣。

Enter Tony And Tina
东尼和蒂娜

For quite some time, we had been getting stared at by a married couple I will call Tony and Tina. They were in their early thirties, not much younger than us.
有好长一段时间,有一对夫妇,就称他们为东尼和蒂娜吧,一直盯着我们看。她们三十出头,比我们稍微年轻一点。

Tony had a little bit of size on him, but needed to drop a good thirty pounds. He was about six foot and 230 pounds, with a little bit of a potbelly, and absolutely no muscle definition, just a smooth mass of indeterminate bulk.
东尼有点胖,需要大减个30磅。他身高6英尺,230磅重,有点啤酒肚,无肌肉线条,有的只是一堆肥肉。

He did stay incredibly tanned year-round, since his sister, a former stripper, owned a tanning salon down the street that always reeked of incense and had techno music blasting 24-7.
由于他姐姐(以前做过脱衣舞娘)在街上开了一家总是弥漫着焚香味并一周7天每天24小时放着电子音乐的美黑沙龙,他全年肤色都保持着漂亮的古铜色。

Tina was a pretty young bleached blonde who often let her roots grow too long between dye jobs and had more tattoos than Janet and I combined – which at last count was eight. She was the classic ‘skinny fat’ body. Her height and weight of 5-4 and 125 pounds didn’t tell the full story. The woman had no muscle on her, and was kinda mushy and squishy all over.
蒂娜是一个染金发的年轻美女,常常等发根长得很长了才会再去染发,纹身比我和珍妮特加起来还要多,据最新统计有8处。她是典型的瘦型肥胖者,5.4英尺的身高和125磅的体重掩盖了部分实情。这个女人身上没有肌肉,有点多愁善感。

I go by the motto, “a hard woman is good to find,” so she held no appeal for me. Which was good, because Janet doesn’t take kindly to me drooling over anyone but she, the Cuban Missile. And take it from me, you don’t want to piss any woman off, but particularly not a Cuban. Think of an enraged Ricky Ricardo with PMS.
由于我的座右铭是“硬朗的女人才是好对象”,所以她对我没有吸引力。这样很好,因为珍妮特对我垂涎除她这个古巴导弹以外的女人都不会乐意。相信我,别惹女人生气,尤其是非古巴人的女人。想想月经前综合征发作且被激怒的里基·里卡多(Ricky Ricardo)是啥样吧。

Anyway, probably because Janet and I were in peak physical condition due to the imminent contest, they finally got up the guts to come up to us one Monday morning – leg day for us. I whispered to Janet that I hoped they weren’t swingers.
不管怎样,可能是因为大赛临近,我和珍妮特都处于巅峰生理状态,一个周一的早上(我们练腿的日子),他俩终于鼓起勇气朝我们走来。我低声对珍妮特说希望他俩不是换妻俱乐部的。

Asking For Advice
请教

Tina spoke first, addressing Janet. That’s usually how it worked. Rarely did anyone ever approach me first if Janet was with me. Janet says it’s because I am always giving dirty looks. Not true, it’s just that my face is genetically twisted into a permanent dirty look. Even my smile looks like a sneer. It must be the Russian half of me. They always seem to look annoyed or pissed off.
蒂娜首先说话,当然是对着珍妮特。通常都是这样,珍妮特在我身边的时候,很少有人会先跟我搭讪。珍妮特说是因为我总是给人臭脸看。这不是事实,事实是我的脸先天比较扭曲,一直就是一副臭脸,连笑起来都像嘲讽,肯定是有一半俄罗斯血统的缘故,俄罗斯人一直似乎看起来都很烦躁或生气。

“Hey, you guys look really great,” she offered as an introduction. “Thanks,” we both responded in unison.
“嗨,你们俩身材真的太棒了,”她这样开场说道。“谢谢。”我们齐声回应。

“Uh, we were just wondering what supplements you guys take, like protein powders and fat burners and stuff,” Tony asked. This was the most common type of question we were hit up with. Nobody ever liked our answer, but I am not the type to dance around reality. Whether these two liked it or not, I was going to let them know what they were least likely to hear in this world where everyone is afraid of offending everyone else.
“呃,我俩只是想知道你们吃什么补剂,比如蛋白粉、燃脂胶囊还是什么?”东尼问道。这是我们被问到的最常见的问题。没人喜欢我们的答案,但我不会避实就虚。不管他俩喜欢与否,我都会让他们知道在这个怕得罪人的世界里他们不太可能听到的事实。

“Believe it or not, supplements are only a small part of the reason we look the way we do,” I explained. “In fact, there are millions of people who use supplements on a regular basis and don’t look much better than the average person. That’s because training and nutrition are far more important, and most people just don’t train hard enough and eat right.”
“不管你信不信,补剂对造就我们的身材只是一个次要因素,”我说,“实际上有很多定期吃补剂的人身材看上去比普通人好不了多少,原因是训练和饮食才是重点,而大多数人训练不够刻苦,饮食也不合理。”

Now I waited for the standard comeback. Tina gave it, word for word almost identically to all the rest over the years. “But we do train hard and eat right, you see us in here all the time,” she said. I looked to Janet to clue her in.
说完我就等着听标准回应。蒂娜做了回应,跟我多年来听到的所有其他回应几乎一字不差。她说:“但我们有刻苦训练并合理饮食啊,你们也看到了,我俩一直有来这里。”我看了看珍妮特,示意她上。

“Tina,” she said in her sweet, caring way that is so different from my blunt, callous tone, “I don’t think I have ever seen you do anything but a lot of very easy cardio and very light weights, and then only for legs.”
“蒂娜,”她说,语气温柔关切,完全不同于我的直白冷酷,“除了很多很轻松的有氧和极轻的负重训练外,我想我没看到你练其他的,而且你只练了腿。”

“That leg press machine you use over there?” I pointed. “See those poles sticking out on the sides? You can actually put weights on them, that’s why the plates have the holes in the middle the same size.” Janet elbowed me pretty hard for that and continued on.
“你用的是那边那种蹬腿机吗?”我指着机器说,“看到两侧伸出来的杆子了吗?你可以在上面挂重量片,重量片中间为什么有相应大小的洞,道理就在这里。”珍妮特用肘狠戳了我一下,然后继续说:

“And when you say you eat well, are you eating either lean protein or a low-carb protein shake or bar every two hours, getting in about six or seven meals a day?”
“你说你饮食合理,那你有每两小时吃一次瘦蛋白或低碳水化合物蛋白奶昔或蛋白棒并保证一天吃上6次或7次吗?”

“Six or seven meals?” Tina stammered. “Who has time for that? I have coffee and a muffin for breakfast, salad for lunch, and…”
“6次或7次?”蒂娜顿了顿,“谁有时间吃那么多餐啊?我早餐吃咖啡加松饼,午餐吃沙拉……”

“And a huge dinner with tons of rice or pasta, right?” I interrupted. She stared at me like I was a mind reader. I turned to Tony to handle the manly part of this.
“晚餐吃一大堆米饭或面食,是吧?”我打断道。她望着我,奇怪我怎么知道她想说什么。我转过身,打算对东尼说点什么。

“Tony, you do okay with the weights, though I have never seen you train to failure and beyond on a single set, and your form in general is atrocious.” His jaw dropped. Apparently no one had ever had the balls to tell him. “And I have seen you using the same exact weights for at least a year.
“东尼,你做负重训练没问题吧,但我从未见过你练到力竭并超过一组,还有你的动作大多很不标准。”他很惊讶。很明显,以前没人有勇气告诉他这些。“而且在至少一年的时间里你都是用同样的重量在练。

And furthermore, if I can be so bold, you could certainly stand to do some regular cardio and drop some body fat, but I have never seen you over there on a machine. Usually Tina is cruising along on the treadmill at a turtle’s pace and you are over at the weights doing curls that look like clean and jerks. You guys should be training together like we do.”
还有,恕我冒昧,你肯定能坚持做点常规有氧运动甩掉些体脂,但我从未见过你使用那边的机器。通常的情况是,蒂娜用龟速在跑步机上悠闲地散步,而你则去负重区做点看似利索的弯举和挺举。你俩应该像我们一样在一起练。”

“We met in a gym in 1989, and have been training partners ever since,” Janet informed him. “It certainly is some of the best time we spend together,” I added. “No kids, no phone calls, pure quality time.”
“我们是1989年在健身房认识的,之后一直一起训练,”珍妮特告诉他,“那些年是我们共同度过的一段最美好的时光,”我补充道,“没孩子,没电话,非常美好。”

“But I don’t want to get all muscle-bound and masculine-looking like those women in the magazines,” Tina volunteered. “Guys,” I said, trying to keep a straight face, “Janet has been training hard and heavy for over sixteen years now, does she look muscle-bound, or like a man, to you? Tony, seriously?”
“但我不想变成杂志里的女人那样,浑身肌肉而且看上去比较男性化。”蒂娜说。“听我说,”我尽力保持严肃,“珍妮特用大重量刻苦训练了16年多了,她看上去肌肉发达或像个男人吗?东尼,你说呢?”

Tony only stared, eyes wide and unable to even come up with a grunt in response. Janet was wearing a pretty small, tight little outfit that day. Now he was the one who got the elbow in his ribs from his wife.
东尼只瞪大眼睛盯着珍妮特,什么也说不出来。珍妮特那天穿了一套修身小套装。见此情形,他老婆用肘朝他肋骨上戳了一下。

Setting Up The Basics
打基础

We stayed and talked to them for about another twenty minutes. Janet is a personal trainer and set up a consultation with both of them to go over their goals and eating habits. I had them order a few products that would definitely make clean, frequent, high-protein eating a lot easier.
我们待在那里又给他俩讲了二十分钟。珍妮特是一名私人教练,给他俩做了一次咨询,了解他们的训练目标和饮食习惯。我则让他们订购了一些产品,这些产品可以让吃得健康、少食多餐、摄入高蛋白变得更容易。

They got protein powder and protein bars as meal replacements, and whey and waxy maize powders, creatine monohydrate, and L-glutamine to make their post-workout shakes. I also had them round out their nutritional needs with multivitamin and mineral tablets, vitamins C and E, and Omega 3 gel caps.
他们有了作为代餐的蛋白粉和蛋白棒,以及可做练后奶昔的乳清和糯玉米粉、一水肌酸及左旋谷酰胺。我还让他们用综合维他命和矿物质片剂、维生素C和E以及奥米伽3胶嚢来完善营养需要。

There would be more things that would be useful to them soon, but for now I just wanted them to have the basics covered. Janet was going to educate them on how to eat properly, and take them through a few training sessions so they got a better idea of what it was going to take for them to start seeing real changes in the mirror.
不久还会有更多东西会对他俩有用,但目前有这些基础的就行了。珍妮特会教他们如何科学进食并带他俩做几次训练,以便他们更好地认识到要想身材真正发生变化需要付出什么样的代价。

And in a truly sappy moment, as soon as they walked away, I said to Janet, “the couple that trains together stays together.” She gave me a quick peck on the lips.
在他们走后,我一瞬间感触颇深,对珍妮特说:“一起练的夫妻不会分离。”她立刻亲了我一下。

“Except for when you get really irritated with me and tell me to f*** off and train by myself that day.” “You always have to ruin the moment, Ron,” she said. What can I say? I’m a writer, and I have a way with words.
“但当你很气我,叫我滚蛋,当天自己练的时候除外。”“你总是这样,好好的气氛都被你给毁了,罗恩。”我能说啥呢?我是个作家,就是能说会道。

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