最新消息:

[文化][健身健美][英中对照]健美大神之路 41 指点有偿

一线实稿 樊明璨 来源:樊明璨博客 197浏览 0评论

健美大神之路(A Bodybuilder Is Born)

作者:罗恩·哈利斯(Ron Harris)

译者:樊明璨

欢迎关注我的微信公众号

Episode 41 – Put A Value On Your Time And Experience!
第41篇 指点有偿

The off-season was gaining steam as New England transitioned from fall toward winter. We had yet to have our first snowstorm yet, but I was ready. The wife and I had finally purchased our first 4×4 vehicle, a new Ford Explorer, so no longer would I drive our town streets and have the unstable feel of running across an oil-slicked linoleum floor in bare feet.
新英格兰秋去冬来后,非赛季时光也过得快起来。虽然第一场暴风雪尚未来临,但我已准备就绪。我和老婆终于买了我们的第一辆四驱车——一辆新的福特探险者(Ford Explorer),这样在跑乡镇街道时我就不会再有光脚跑滑腻油毡地的失衡感了。

My sports car is about as useless driving in snow as it would be on those cragged rocky mountaintops in the commercials with the giant pickup trucks that were probably dropped there by helicopter.
我的跑车跑雪地大抵是不行的,就跟要它跑上大型皮卡(可能是由直升飞机吊放在山顶)广告中的崎岖多岩山顶一样。

Anyway, I was pretty sure that this winter, you wouldn’t find me on the elliptical runner screaming, “No!” when the weather report came on the TV and I saw those little snowflakes falling in the graphics. Bring it on, Old Man Winter! You want some of this? I grew up in this climate, fool! I could eat snow and poop out ice cubes if I had to. Perhaps I am getting carried away.
不管怎样,我敢肯定,这个冬天电视上天气预报会下雪时,你不会看到我在椭圆机上别呀别呀地嚷嚷。来吧,狗屁冬天!什么,你也想装逼?别傻了,我是冬天里长大的孩子,必要时我甚至可以把雪吃下去拉出冰块来。可能有点离题了。

We’ll see how I feel when the first storm dumps a couple tons of white stuff on my driveway and I’m out there shoveling for five hours. Most likely I will regress to childhood and cry for mommy to bring me some hot chocolate – and a snowblower while she’s at it.
未来当第一场暴风雪堆积数吨白雪在我的车道上而我要在那里铲雪五个小时的时候,那种感觉就不说了,你们懂的。我多半会像小时候一样叫也在同样忙着的妈妈给我拿点巧克力热饮过来,当然还有除雪机。

Not A Kid Anymore
变得成熟

I had crept over 220 between Halloween and Thanksgiving, and was now within spitting distance of 225. Randy had taken my advice to heart and decided to abandon his goal of staying lean forever. From 200 pounds, he had bulked up to a much fuller and stronger 212, and his goal of hitting two and a quarter before the spring thaw was right on track.
万圣节前夕后直至感恩节前这段时间,我的体重不经意间超过了220磅,离225磅只有一步之遥。兰迪把我的忠告听进去了,抛弃了“常瘦”态,从200磅长到了212磅,身体显得更加壮实,正向着春雪融化前达到225磅的目标前进。

Gone, of course, were the tank tops, replaced by a collection of XXL novelty T-shirts. My favorite had a silhouette of a hot woman pushing a baby carriage, and it read, “I only date MILFS.” I had given him this one. Hey, it was only $9.99. For those of you that don’t know what MILF stands for, I’ll give you the PG version: “Mom I’d Like to French-Kiss.”
背心自然是不穿了,取而代之的是一系列XXL码的新潮T恤。我最喜欢印有一个美女推着婴儿车剪影的那件,配的标语是“我只约会MILF(译者注:MILF是Mother I’d Like to Fuxk的缩写,意即‘我想X的少妇’)”。我早就将这件T恤给了兰迪,很便宜,才卖9.99美元。不知道MILF意思的童靴,我只能给你一个未解禁版的解释,即‘我想舌吻的少妇’。

Of course, it was a lie in Randy’s case. The 24-year-old was about as likely to date a woman with a child as he was a woman with a face like Drew Carey. H#ll, in many ways, I still considered him a kid.
当然,兰迪的约会对象不会是少妇,他才24岁,这不可能,除非他丑成女版朱·凯瑞(Drew Carey)。可在我眼里,他在很多方面仍是一个孩子。

Apparently, a lot of the teenagers and young guys in the gym, as well as another gym he now trained at (that was closer to the Ford dealership he worked at), considered him a guru.
但很显然,我健身房和另一个他目前去的健身房(离他上班的福特汽车经销店比较近)里的许多青少年和年轻男子都把他视为健美大神。

The Student Becomes The Master
徒变成师

“Ron, it takes me twice as long to workout sometimes because these kids are always coming up to me for advice,” he complained. “Even when I wear headphones, they still get in my face and keep talking until I take them off.”
“教练,我有时训练得花两倍长的时间,因为总有人跑来向我请教一些问题,”他抱怨道,“即使我戴着耳机,他们还是会在我眼前说个不停,直至我摘掉耳机。”

“What are they asking?”
“他们都问了些什么?”

“They usually want to know what I do for this or that body part, or they want me to show them how to do an exercise. A lot of times they want to know what to eat to get big, and man, there’s no way I can tell them all that in under ten or fifteen minutes. It’s getting annoying.” He looked exhausted.
“他们一般是问某个部位的练法,或者让我示范某个训练动作,问吃什么可以长肌肉也问过很多次,天啊,十几分钟的时间我根本没法说清楚这个问题,觉得这些人好烦。”他显得疲惫不堪。

“They want to know what supplements to use. Then there is even one kid that keeps bugging me to write him up a full workout program. He wanted me to give him supplements for free because he thinks I have a lot of money, too.” I shook my head.
“他们还问要吃什么补剂。有个小屁孩老来烦我要我给他一个书面的完整训练方案,还希望我送他点补剂,因为他觉得我很有钱。”我摇摇头。

I had learned my lesson with free supplements after giving a brother-in-law a bottle of testosterone-booster pills he had been bugging me for, only to find the same bottle, unopened, in his medicine cabinet… two years later!
我有过送补剂的教训,以前因烦不胜烦送过一瓶睾酮促进剂给舅子,结果两年后在他的药箱里发现那瓶补剂仍未开封。

“Randy, in one way you should feel pretty good. You have obviously developed your physique to the point where others can see you know what you’re doing, and they want your help. On the other hand, you see how demanding this can be. They all expect you to give your time and knowledge freely and without any thought of compensation, which can start to feel like an insult pretty fast.”
“亲,一方面你应该感到高兴,你的身材现在已经达到了让人艳羡的水平,大家都希望你能指点一二。另一方面,你也从中体会到了指点别人有多累,大家都希望你不求回报地花时间教他们,但很快你就会发现这其实是自己找虐。”

“So what should I do, be a jerk and blow them all off?” he asked. I proceeded to tell Randy of a few notable cases where I had to draw the line and say no.
“那我该咋办,装酷不甩他们?”他问。我给兰迪讲了几种值得注意的情况,让他明白底线在哪儿,越界就必须说不。

The Advice Whore
滥求指点

Brett was a nice enough kid, though his lame attempts at humor could get on your nerves. He was on my butt for advice constantly years ago when I lived out in California. Brett loved to go on about his horrible genetics, and they were pretty bad.
布瑞特人很好,但他的劣质幽默让人挺烦。多年前我还住在加州时,他老跟在我屁股后面求我指点。他喜欢唠叨自己的先天条件有多差,不过事实的确如此。

Tall, completely devoid of facial or body hair, and pear-shaped, he probably had about as much testosterone coursing through his veins as Richard Simmons. I had at least trained Brett to only bother me when I was doing cardio, never when I was training with weights (before that, he would actually come up and start talking to me in the middle of a set – intolerable!).
他长得又高又胖,没胡子,没体毛,身体里的睾酮可能跟理查德·西蒙斯(Richard Simmons)差不多。我至少让布瑞特学会了一件事,就是只在我做有氧的时候才来问我问题,别在做负重训练的时候来(之前老在我一组动作做到一半时来打扰我,真受不了!)

He wanted to look like a bodybuilder, but he trained with zero intensity. Brett used weights that would hardly challenge a kitten strung out on some kind of pain killer, and no matter how many times I went over proper bodybuilding nutrition with him, he continued to miss meals and eat junk on a daily basis. He was overly obsessed with supplements having magical properties that would somehow make up for his wimpy workouts and inadequate eating.
他想练成健美运动员那样,但训练完全没有强度。他用的重量连打了止痛药后萎靡不振的小猫都能轻松完成;不管跟他重申过多少次妥当的健美饮食,他每天还是会忘了吃该吃的吃了垃圾食品。他过度迷信有所谓奇效的补剂,觉得那些玩意儿可以多少弥补他训练上的低效和饮食上的不当。

I finally had to cut Brett off from all the lengthy free advice sessions when I figured out that he was hitting up at least three other guys at the gym regularly for the same thing. How did I find out? Brett had the nerve to ask me to defend my advice against that of the other guys when it wasn’t exactly the same. “You said I should eat every two hours, Rocco says three is fine. You said I should do three or four work sets of an exercise, Biff told me just do one set.”
当我发现他每隔一段时间就同一问题求教健身房里其他人(至少3个)时,我最后只好不再给他过多的免费指点。我怎么发现的?当他发现我说的和其他人说的不一样时,这小子居然要求我解释。“你说我应该两小时一餐,但罗科说应该三小时。你说我应该一个动作练三四组,但毕福让我只练一组。”

On and on this went until I finally snapped and told him to bother them and leave me alone if he didn’t have any faith in me. To have given him so much of my time, only to have my own advice thrown back in my face and questioned, was just plain rude.
诸如此类的话他说过很多,最后我爆发了,告诉他不信我就别来烦我找他们去。花了这么多时间指点最后却落得被驳斥和质疑简直是自己找虐。

The Freeloader
富但吝啬

Mort was an attorney, and a very wealthy one at that. He drove the most expensive sedan Mercedes makes, and strutted around with the aura of a man who knows he can probably buy and sell you five times over. Mort may have had a million bucks in his checking account, but he had a five-dollar body. This, despite him having hired all of the personal trainers at my gym at one time or another.
莫特是一个非常有钱的律师,开着最昂贵的梅赛德斯车子,举手投足间总显得仿佛高人一等,家财万贯,但身体单薄。这是事实,尽管他把我健身房里的所有私教都请了个遍。

Mort was in his late forties and ‘skinny fat,’ meaning he had very little muscle and was flabby all over, even though in a suit I am sure no one knew how horrible his body actually looked. My feeling is that the better shape your body is in, the more likely you are to look better naked than you do in clothes, and vice versa. People in bad physical condition always look better in clothes, especially clothes that bind and pinch the fat into a more pleasing shape.
莫特快五十了,看着瘦,实际胖,换句话说,全身肌肉很少且很松弛,尽管穿上西装没人看得出他的糟糕身材。我自己的感觉是,身体越好就越可能不穿比穿好看,反之亦然。身体差的人穿衣时比较好看,尤其是穿修身衣时。

Anyway, Mort was done with all the trainers; most of whom weren’t in great shape either, and was now starting to badger me for pointers. At first I didn’t mind, but eventually it started to really bother me the way he assumed that because I was built well, I was obligated to help him in any way I could. Further, I knew he hardly considered my vocation as a bodybuilding writer a ‘profession’ like his own.
总之,莫特遍请私教也无济于事(大多数私教自己身体也不咋样),现在来求我指点一下。起初我不太上心,后来开始真的有点烦他了,他认为我身材好就理所应当尽力帮他。另外,我知道他没有把我的职业——健美撰稿人——当回事,觉得跟他的职业无法相提并论。

One day when I was in a pissy mood for whatever reason (I think I was dieting and it was a low-carb day), I went off on him. I asked him how long it had taken him to become a lawyer, though I knew the answer – four years of pre-law and three years of law school.
一天,因为一些原因(当时正在节食减脂且当天是吃低碳水餐)心情很不好,我便将火气洒在了莫特身上。我问他做律师前训练了多久,其实我知道要念四年预科三年本科。

I explained that it had taken me well over twenty years of training and learning – three times the duration of his higher education – to get to the level of expertise I now had in matters of transforming the human body.
我说我花了二十几年的时间训练和学习——是他所受高等教育时长的三倍——才在塑身方面达到现有专业水平。

I asked what his legal consulting rate was, and he hesitated before informing me that it was three hundred dollars an hour. I smiled and told him that he was in luck.
我问他做法律咨询如何收费,他犹豫了一下说一小时300美元。我笑着说他很幸运。

Though I had given up personal training years ago, I would be more than happy to train him. And due to my level of expertise, the rate was six hundred bucks a session! Not surprisingly, he was appalled at my gall (though this is a guy that probably spends that much every time he goes out to dinner) and never approached me again – thank goodness.
虽然我不做私教多年了,但我很乐意教他一下,按我的专业水平一节课收他600美元!果不其然,他对我狮子大开口感到震惊(但他下馆子也许次次花这么多钱),后来再也没来找过我,谢天谢地。

The Socializer
热衷社交

This was very recent. I need to set this up by explaining that until a year ago, apparently I had needed glasses and didn’t know it. I was convinced that my d@mn windshield just wouldn’t get clean, which is why I was having trouble seeing where I was going whenever I drove at night.
这是最近发生的事。我交待一下背景,一年前我不知道自己近视,认为是挡风玻璃不干净才导致我晚上开车看不清路况。

There was a guy I will call Saul at my gym who I initially thought was a woman, as I had never seen him up close or heard him talk, and my vision was blurry past about twelve feet or so. Saul has man-boobs, a big belly, and a big butt, so you can understand how I could have mistaken him for one of several overweight middle-aged women at the gym with short gray hair.
我健身房里有个男的叫索尔,由于之前没有近距离接触,也没有听过他说话,加上12英尺外的东西就看不清,导致我起初以为他是个女的。索尔胸大,肚子大,屁股大,跟我健身房里几个短灰发的中年肥婆差不多,我把他误解为后者也不奇怪。

Saul was active in town politics and was on the school committee, so he knew quite a few people at our gym. He probably spent a good two hours in there every day, but if you added up the actual time he was exercising, I doubt it would total more than thirty minutes.
索尔不仅积极参与地方政事,同时还是地方教育董事会成员,所以我健身房里不少人他都认识。他每天可能会来健身房整整两小时,但实际健身时间我怀疑不足半小时。

Like Mort, he too had enlisted the services of at least two trainers at our gym briefly. After heaping compliments on me one time when I was particularly tanned and lean for a contest, he had confided to me that he came to the gym ‘to relax,’ which stuck in my mind.
跟莫特一样,他也短时间请过我健身房里的私人教练(至少两名)。有次我为参赛脱脂美黑后他大势恭维我,之后则向我坦承他来健身房目的只是“放松”,我一直记得他说的这句话。

No wonder he looked the way he did! I almost felt like asking him if I should go draw him a bubble bath and light some scented candles. The subtext there was that he was in no way willing to work hard and endure any type of pain or discomfort in the gym, and he admitted it. Obviously he was only there to socialize and pretend he was working out (I had never once seen him break a sweat).
难怪他身材一直那样!连我几乎都想问他我是否该去给他准备一个泡泡浴,然后再点上几根香氛蜡烛。我意思是说,他在健身房里根本就不想刻苦训练,不想忍受任何痛苦或难受,他自己也承认这点。很明显,他来健身房只是来社交的,假装锻炼一下(我从未见他汗流浃背过)。

About a week ago, Saul asked if I would do him a favor. On guard, I said that depended on what the favor was. “Can I work out with you sometime?” Instantly my mind translated that into, “Will you be my personal trainer for free?” I stared him dead in the eye and told him no way. Saul was taken aback, so I nicely explained that I take my workouts very seriously.
大约一周前,索尔问我是否可以帮他一个忙。出于警觉,我说要看什么事。“我改天可以和你一起锻炼吗?”我大脑瞬间对这句话的解读是“你愿意免费教我一下吗?”我直视着他的眼睛说不行。索尔颇感诧异,于是我礼貌地解释说我锻炼不是闹着玩的。

Working out is like a job to me, and I am always striving to do that job better. Letting him work out with me would only slow me down and waste my very limited time, and I wouldn’t do that because he didn’t really want to train anywhere near enough to see results in fat loss, muscle gain, or strength gain. He understood, but he was still offended. Too freaking bad. Relax in the gym – don’t get me started.
对我而言,锻炼就像一份工作,我一直在努力地把工作做好。让他和我一起练只会拖我后腿并浪费我的宝贵时间。我不答应是因为他根本不是真的想练,想在减脂、增肌、增力上有所进步。他明白我在说什么,但仍然很气。好吧,还是放松你的去吧,别来惹我。

Help Those That Help Themselves
助自助者

Randy was amazed at all these accounts, especially since he knew who Mort and Saul were and never knew how I had put them in their places.
兰迪对我讲的情况感到很惊讶,因为他认识莫特和索尔,但从不知道我和他们之间还有过这样的事。

“The thing is, Randy, unless someone has already made a solid effort on their own to learn and gotten at least some kind of results, they aren’t really sincere, and they aren’t worth your time. Those kids that bug you could find out almost everything they are asking you about on the Internet, but they are too lazy. They want you to save them the effort.”
“所以,亲,你的底线就是要看来求教的人是否自己有努力研究过相关问题并获得了某种结论,随便练练闹着玩的人的不值得你花时间教他们。那些来找你指点的小子明明可以在网上找到问题的答案,就是太懒,图省事直接问你。”

“I know, you’re right,” he nodded.
“明白了,你说得对。”他点点头。

“Just like the Lord helps those who help themselves, I don’t help anyone that hasn’t at least put out some genuine effort. It has taken me so many years to get to where I am today, that if someone can’t or won’t respect that, I will not give them the time of day.
“俗话说‘自助者天助之’,我不会指点那些没有真正付出过一点努力的人。我历经多年才达到现在的水平,如果对方现在或将来无法尊重我的指导,我就不会在他们身上白费时间。

Another thing is that if you give things away, they are never appreciated as much as if they had to be paid for or earned in some way. That’s why my brother-in-law never even used those supplements I gave him. I bet if he had paid for them, they would have been gone in two or three weeks.”
另一方面,白送人的东西不会像花钱买的或通过某种方式辛苦得来的东西一样得到珍惜,所以我的舅子没有吃我送他的补剂,我相信如果是花钱买的,肯定两三周就吃光了。”

Randy sighed. He knew that if he listened to me, a lot of people were going to think he was arrogant, selfish, greedy, or just a big jerk. He also knew that if he didn’t listen to me, people would be taking advantage of him for the rest of his life in gyms, and the kicker was that most of them wouldn’t apply his free advice anyway.
兰迪叹了口气。他明白,如果照我说的做,很多人会觉得他傲慢、自私、贪婪、古怪;同时他也明白,如果不照我说的做,健身房里来求教的人会烦死他且最后大多数人不会将他的免费指点落到实处。

It’s an issue that even I still struggle with all the time, but I have stood my ground lately quite consistently. Randy was one of the first sincere young bodybuilders I met that I could sense would take my advice and absorb it all. I also knew he was willing to work as hard as I told him to.
这确实是一个问题,我也一直比较纠结,但最近我坚定了立场。兰迪是我遇到的第一泼我觉得能彻底听进我的指导并真正热爱健美的年轻人之一。我也知道他愿意按照我告诉他的那样去刻苦训练。

I enjoy passing on what I have learned, because someday I will be gone, and those that I have taught will continue the tradition and educate and inspire the next generation of bodybuilders. And really, that’s what it’s all about.
我其实很乐意向人传授我毕生所学,因为有一天我会死,但我所教的知识不会,它们会通过传承继续教育并激励下一代健美者,是的,这一点才是最重要的。

转载请注明:樊明璨博客 » [文化][健身健美][英中对照]健美大神之路 41 指点有偿