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[文化][健身健美][英中对照]健美大神之路 49 治夏良方

一线实稿 樊明璨 来源:樊明璨博客 285浏览 0评论

健美大神之路(A Bodybuilder Is Born)

作者:罗恩·哈利斯(Ron Harris)

译者:樊明璨

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Episode 49 – The Cure For The Summertime Blues!
第49篇 治夏良方

I had yet to subject myself to former Vice President Al Gore’s depressing and apocalyptic documentary about the catastrophic effects of global warming, “An Inconvenient Truth,” but I didn’t need to. I had proof enough. It was fricking hot and muggy inside my gym since the air conditioning unit was malfunctioning, and that was inconvenience defined.
我没有经历过前副总统阿尔·戈尔那部令人压抑的灾难预示性纪录片——《难以忽视的真相》——中所说的全球变暖的灾难性后果,我也不需要,身边发生的事儿足以证明变暖有多么糟糕。自从空调出问题后,我的健身房内部就变得异常闷热潮湿,真的很麻烦。

I know what some of you are thinking – what a big wuss this Harris character is! Ronnie Coleman trains out at Metroflex Gym in the equally unbearable and oppressively humid Texas summer, where air conditioning is about as likely to be found at that hardcore dungeon as pretty potted ferns and big pink Swiss balls to balance on and curl your three-pound chrome dumbbells.
我知道你们有些人在想什么,认为我矫情是吧。罗尼·库尔曼做训练的梅特罗福勒克斯健身房(Metroflex Gym)同样在德州,同样面临难耐的特别潮湿的夏季。跟漂亮的盆栽蕨类植物以及在上面保持平衡后弯举3磅重的镀铬哑铃用的粉色瑞士大健身球一样,那里的空调系统可能位于核心地窖里。

So sue me, I like the little creature comforts of modern civilization. I enjoy turning a faucet on to get my water, rather than carrying it in buckets up from the nearest creek. I buy my steaks already cut up, rather than having to kill and butcher the cow myself.
所以,不服就来咬我吧,我就喜欢现代文明带来的小小物质享受。我喜欢拧开水龙头接水,讨厌去附近的河里用桶挑水。我喜欢买已经切好的牛排,讨厌自己亲自去屠宰牛。

I appreciate being able to have toilets in my home that flush, rather than an outhouse where stinky things just keep piling up rather than being whooshed out to the ocean where they belong, making some poor fish hold his fishy nose and say, “D@mn, what the h#ll was this guy eating, anyway?”
我感恩能拥有室内冲水马桶,讨厌那种臭粪便堆积成山没冲到海里的室外厕所,臭得连鱼都要捂着鼻子说“mmd,这家伙吃了什么大便这么臭?”

It’s Not The Heat It’s The Humidity
潮湿要命

When I say that the A/C was malfunctioning, that’s not being entirely accurate. It seemed to work perfectly in a small area around the front desk, so that the cute teenage girls working there and the young horndog guys that lingered around spitting game at them could luxuriate in lightly chilled air.
前面说空调出问题,这个说法并不完全准确。前台那一小片区域,空调似乎完全工作正常,徐徐凉风下,“性致”勃勃的小男生总来这里晃荡和在前台值班的小女生调情。

Flirting is hard work, so we wouldn’t want them to break a sweat now, would we? Over by the squat rack where Randy and I were in our own little world of intensity and pain, it was a different story.
调情是一项技术活,所以不能期待他们出啥汗,对吧?而在另一边的深蹲架旁,我和兰迪自顾自地干着自虐式力气活,和前者不可同日而语。

It was ninety-nine degrees outside, and in that particular corner of the gym, it may have been a couple degrees hotter. I kept thinking I was catching a whiff of brimstone, and any minute I expected little red devils to leap out from smoking cracks in the ground and start poking at us with pitchforks. Then again, they would probably get sick of the heat and decide to come back later when the a/c was fixed.
外面的气温达到了99℉(译者注:≈37℃),而我们所处的那个健身房角落可能还要高些。我总觉得闻到了一股硫黄味,这让我立即联想到红色小恶魔从地上的烟雾裂隙里跳出来用干草叉戳我们,然后可能是受不了高温,决定等空调修好了再来。

And when they say it’s not the heat, it’s the humidity; it’s so true. The combination is stifling and drains the energy out of you faster than finding out that Playboy Playmate that’s been sending you racy emails is actually an obese 44-year-old sanitation worker named Fred.
他们都说高温其实没啥,要命的是潮湿。说得太对了!闷热加潮湿令人窒息,消耗人的能量比你发现一直向你发送挑逗电邮的花花公子女郎其实是一个叫佛雷德的44岁又老又胖的女清洁工还要快。

When there are beads of condensed water trickling down the walls, you know it’s humid. Walls were not meant to sweat – or bleed, for that matter, which is why I would never live in that d@mned Amityville Horror house.
墙上有凝结水珠流下来,就说明天气很潮湿。墙上本不应该出现无色或红色水珠滴流的,所以我决不会去住电影《鬼哭神嚎》(Amityville Horror)里的那种屋子。

Not Built For The Heat
不耐高温

The weather was rough on me for a couple reasons. Number one, I am not built for the heat. My ancestors are from England and Russia, so I am more comfortable in the drizzling fog of the moors or a snowstorm out on the frigid Steppes of Siberia than under a blazing sun.
我受不了这种天气的原因有几个。第一,天生不耐高温。我的祖先是英格兰人和俄罗斯人,更适应沼泽那种毛雨雾天气,或西伯利亚寒冷草原的暴风雪天气,不喜烈日。

I start sweating when the mercury gets over seventy degrees, and it gets increasingly more disgusting the hotter it gets. I pretty much perspire 24-7 from Memorial Day until Labor Day, and I have been cursed with sweat glands the likes of which you have never seen.
气温高过70℉(译者注:≈21℃)我就会开始出汗,越高越热。从阵亡将士纪念日到劳动节这段时间,我一周7天每天24小时多少都会排汗,这得归咎于我的汗腺,你们应该从未见过像我这么发达的汗腺。

In the gym, I leave puddles wherever I stand still for more than a minute. My gym bag is always packed with at least three clean t-shirts, as I typically have to visit the locker room and remove a sopping-wet top about every thirty to forty minutes. If I didn’t carry a towel around to mop off my brow as it ran with rivulets of sweat, I would be blinded by my own stinging fluids.
在健身房里,凡我静站超过一分钟的地方都会留下一个小水氹。我的健身包里一般会放至少三件干净T恤,因为每30~40分钟我就必须去一次更衣室换掉湿淋淋的上衣。如果我不随身带条毛巾擦掉眉毛上的汗水的话,我的视线将会被它遮掉。

Randy seemed to cope with the heat a little better than me under normal circumstances, but now he was dieting for his contest, twelve weeks away.
正常情况下,兰迪似乎比我更适应高温,但现在他在为12周后的比赛节食减脂。

Each morning he woke up and headed right to the gym to do his cardio at four AM so he would have enough time to shower and eat something before training his first client at 5:30. He was already cutting back on his carbs, and even though the Cap-Tri he had added into his supplement regimen was helping to sustain his energy levels, this sickening heat was getting the best of him.
每天早上,他会在4点醒来并去健身房做有氧,这样他才能在5点半训练他的第一个客户前有足够时间冲澡和吃饭。他已经减少了碳水的摄入,尽管他补剂方案里添加的Cap-Tri(译者注:一种中链三酸甘油脂品牌名)有助于维持能量水平,但这该死的高温还是会让他够呛。

No Time For Slacking
无空偷懒

We had done leg curls, stiff-leg deadlifts, and now we were finishing up squats. Randy himself looked finished, like a wilted flower that had given up. It was tough to not feel sorry for him.
我们之前练完了腿弯举和直腿硬拉,现在深蹲也快做完了。兰迪看上去很蔫,像一朵枯萎的花,让人不觉生出同情。

“Okay, we’ll do our walking lunges, then finish up with a couple high-rep sets of leg presses.” Randy shook his head and looked up at me like he was ready to cry from the bench he sat on, loosening his knee wraps from his last and heaviest set of squats.
“好,接下来做弓步走,然后做几组高次数腿推举就结束。”兰迪摇摇头,抬头看着我,一副欲哭无泪的样子,一边脱掉了做最后一组最重的深蹲才绑上的护膝。

“No lunges Ron, not today, please.”
“不做弓步走了,教练,今天不做了,求你了。”

My first inclination was to give in, namely because I was not in the mood for lunges either. But I had to be firm.
起初我也想算了,因为我也没心情做弓步走,但此时我绝不能心软。

“Okay, no lunges – for me. You still have to do them, though.”
“好吧,弓步走不做,我可以,但你不可以。”

“What?” he whined. “Come on, be serious.”
“啊?”他抱怨道,“不是吧,别开玩笑了。”

“Your legs are going to be up on stage in twelve weeks kid, not mine. Your legs are good, but are they so incredible that you can afford to slack?”
“亲,12周后要参赛的是你的腿,不是我的。你的腿很棒,但已经棒到可以偷懒了吗?”

“Slack?” he replied with incredulity. “I just busted my @ss on squats and I’m soaked with sweat!”
“偷懒?”他否认道,“我刚刚爆肝完了深蹲,现在全身是汗!”

“You call that sweat?” I countered. “Why, I ought to take my shirt off while you’re doing leg presses and wring out a quart of my high-test, toxic ammonia sweat onto your face!” He grimaced at the image, and I didn’t blame him. My sweat has been known at times to have monkeys at the zoo ask me in monkey sign language, “Dude, have you ever heard of deodorant? It’s this new thing you should try.”
“你那也叫汗?”我不服道,“哎呀呀,你做腿推举的时候,我该脱掉T恤,拧出点我T恤里的优质有毒氨汗到你脸上,你才知道什么叫汗!”想象着这画面他一脸不悦,这不怪他。我的汗臭得有时会让动物园的猴子给我打手势说:“朋友,听说过除臭剂吗?用点吧。”

A Season Of Distractions
分心季节

“Summertime is when most people do slack off on their training, Randy,” I conceded. “You have the sickening heat that saps your motivation to train, vacations, days at the beach or pool, and barbecues that all seem more enticing than pushing and pulling a bunch of heavy metal in a stuffy gym.”
“夏季很多人都会在训练上偷懒,亲,”我说,“该死的高温会吞噬人的训练动力,大家都想去度假、去海滩或泳池游泳、去烧烤等等,而不想在窒闷的健身房里举铁饼。”

“Don’t forget the cardio, too,” Randy reminded me.
“也不想做有氧。”兰迪提醒道。

“Right. But you are in a special situation here, as you should know. How did you do at your first contest last year, do you happen to recall?” He merely grunted. “That’s right, you took dead last. You had your ass handed to you on a platter. You…”
“对。但你现在情况特殊,你应该知道。去年第一场比赛是啥表现,你还记得吗?”他嗫嚅着。“没错,你倒数第一!”

“I know, okay, I get it! I sucked!”
“我知道,行了,你意思是说我很垃圾呗!”

“I didn’t say you sucked. You looked pretty good. But you need to look a lot better this time, because this time you actually have a good chance to win.
“我没说过你垃圾,你以前很棒,但这次你要更好,因为这次你夺冠胜算很大。

You’re up against other Novice competitors instead of a bunch of seasoned veterans that have been doing this since you were pooping your diaper and laughing at Elmo and Big Bird. You’ll be standing next to a bunch of hungry newcomers like you that are all desperate to win their first trophy.”
你面对的都是新手,而不是一帮老油条,一帮在你拉屎到尿布上并对着艾摩和大鸟玩具傻笑时就已经在参赛的老油条。他们跟你一样,都是极度渴望拿下首胜的新人。”

“So, isn’t that good?” he asked.
“这不好吗?”他问。

Now That’s Air Conditioning
冰袋制冷

“Not if you are quitting your workouts early and not putting in a hundred percent, and some of them are. You always have to assume that as hard as you are training and dieting, someone else out there is doing an even better job. That’s what motivates you to go beyond what you thought you were capable of and do that extra rep, that extra set, that extra cardio session that could make the difference between winning and losing.
“好是好,但你也不能掉以轻心,提前脱离训练,不百分百地投入,他们中一部分人就是这样。你必须始终想着有人会在训练和节食减脂上跟你一样刻苦但比你做得更好,这就是你要超越自己尽量多做一个、多做一组、多练一次有氧的动力,输赢也许就在其中。

Excuses are everywhere if you really want to look for them. In the winter you could say it’s too cold, or you are too tired from shoveling snow to train. But winners don’t make excuses, they do what they need to do regardless of discomfort, fatigue, or inconvenience.”
找借口,只要想找,都找得到,冬天你可以借口天气太冷,或铲雪太累,但胜者是不找借口的,不适、疲劳、不便都无关紧要,他们会做他们应该做的。”

“Fine,” Randy said as we made our way over to the leg press. Between sets of 20, 30, then 50 reps, he stood under a fan nearby, which at least circulated the hot air, and guzzled cold water from a bottle that had already been refilled twice from the fountain.
“好吧,我做。”兰迪说。说着,我们就去了做腿推举的地方。兰迪做了三组,一组20次,一组30次,一组50次,组间休息时他站在附近的一个风扇下乘凉,风扇吹着热风,他咕咕咕地喝着瓶子里的凉水,瓶子已经从饮水机接过两次水了。

As he got ready to start lunges, I went to the locker room. He was waiting for me to begin, as I usually bark encouragement at him on the return trip from the rear of the gym to the front desk area and back. I had my workout shake in one hand, and one of the ice packs from my cooler in the other. Randy seemed puzzled and nodded toward the ice pack.
他准备做弓步走时,我去了更衣室。他要等着我回来才开始,因为弓步走是从健身房后方向前台区域做,从前台回来做回程时他一般需要我大声鼓励。回来时我一手拿着训练奶昔,一手拿着一袋从我的便携冷藏箱里取出来的冰袋。兰迪不解地朝冰袋点了一下头。

“What’s that for?” he asked.
“拿冰袋做啥?”他问。

“Never mind, just get ready.” He cleaned the 60-pound fixed barbell off the floor in front of him and set it on his back. Now that he was rendered helpless to stop me, I pulled his waistband outward from the top of his shorts and dropped the ice pack into his underwear. He yelped like a dog that’s just had its tail stepped on.
“没啥,准备。”他抓起面前地上放着的60磅重固定杠铃扛到背上。见他腾不出手来阻止我,我一把拉开他的短裤松紧带把那包冰袋扔到了他的内裤里。他被冰得直叫唤,就像一条被踩了尾巴的狗。

“Now that’s air conditioning,” I said. “Do your set and make me proud.”
“爽翻了吧,”我说,“好好练,别让我失望。”

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